Human Design is not here to help you reach your goals, become rich or famous, ensure that you are happy all the time, or get the relationship, home, or career that you think you want. Human Design is here to enhance and enable your process of awareness.
I’ve been actively experimenting with Human Design for almost 20 years. I came into my experiment with a strong survival-tragedy story. It was a story that I told myself; that I would end up a bag lady on the street, if I didn’t do this or that. Although I was waiting for life to bring me decisions, and using my emotional wave for decision making, once I entered into something, my mental story would take over, and I was run by it.
Through my open Root I worked 80 hours a week, and still had the mental fear it wasn’t enough to ensure my future survival. I lived in a state of physical stress, and thought I didn’t have the time to take care of myself. Through my open G-Center, I was a people-pleaser, filled with a story that I needed to do, do, do in order to be loved. I was driven to make sure everyone was happy with what I was doing in order to ensure I would have a job in the future, and avoid becoming a bag lady.
It wasn’t until I began to observe these mental stories which arose out of my openness, that my life shifted from trying to make Human Design work for me the way I thought it should; to experiencing the life that is correct for me. The mind still has stories about the future, but I see those stories rather than live a life run by them. The truth is, I have no idea where my life will take me; I may end up living on the street, I may end up living in a home that I cherish. Regardless of where life takes me, I will observe the experience, and enjoy the process of being alive and aware, here, now.
Plato described in 380 BC that most of humankind think and speak without any awareness of the realm of Forms. In his allegory of the Cave he explains that people are like prisoners chained in a cave, unable to turn their heads. All they can see is the wall of the cave. Behind them burns a fire, and between the fire and the prisoners is a parapet, along which puppeteers walk. These puppeteers hold up puppets that cast shadows on the wall of the cave. The prisoners are unable to see these puppets, the real objects that pass behind them. What the prisoners see and hear are shadows and echoes cast by objects that they do not see.
If a prisoner says ‘That’s a book’, he thinks the word ‘book’ refers to the very thing he is looking at. But he would be wrong. He’s only looking at a shadow. The real ‘book’ he cannot see – to see it, he would have to turn his head around 180 degrees.
When the prisoners are released, they can turn their heads around and see the real objects. They can recognize they were only imagining what they thought was real; they were not experiencing the realm of Forms. They were looking at shadows, and believing them to be real.
This is what the mind does every day. It imagines that what it thinks about is real. When the mind becomes so caught up in believing the shadows to be real, it will initiate action about what we must do in order to get what we think we want, or avoid what we think we don’t want, in order to get life to align to our mind’s story about the shadows. This is the essence of the Not-Self, the mind as decision maker; and when the Not-self is in charge, we become prisoners of the mind.
The shadows that the mind thinks about and turns into internal dialog and stories, all arise from the openness in our design. In Human Design terms, this is called conditioning. Conditioning is neither good nor bad. It is simply a fact of life here on planet Earth. We are going to take in what we are not through our openness. It is when the mind gets involved in making the conditioning personal to us, making it into a personal story that we think needs to change, fix or act upon, that the shadows become ‘real’ and we begin to live an imaginary life.
The great gift of Human Design is that we can relieve the mind of its role as decision maker. We do not need to be limited to a life we can imagine; we can experience our uniquely correct life through the Strategy of our Type, and turning over decision making to our form’s Inner Authority.
The dilemma of the mind is that even when the form is aligned to its correct path in life, the mind continues to chase the shadows, and believe that the stories found in the shadows are real. We remain prisoners of the mind as long as we believe the mind’s story about our conditioning. Learning to recognize these stories rather than become lost in them is an ongoing process of self-discovery. Like Plato’s cave, we have been taught to believe that the shadows are real, that the internal dialog that the mind tells us is original, that it is important, and true. We think that our stories can predict the future or that they can interpret the past; we think that our stories are filled with what people really mean when they talk to us, that we should rehearse what we think we should say, and that the stories of internal judgment exist to help us become better.
Openness is the windows of our vehicle. In our openness is where we are designed to take in life in all of its variety, so we can learn about what we are not. If we have an open Gate 22 in our design, then we are built to take in all the varieties of Gate 22 through the transits and through other people entering our aura. It is through the observation of our form’s experience of our openness that the mind finally gets to do the work it is built for, to become an aware observer of our life. Instead of identifying with the mind’s interpretation of the shadows, we turn the attention of the mind 180 degrees and begin to observe life as we meet it.
Slowly, with an understanding of the mechanics of openness, we begin to recognize the repetitive nature of conditioning. We can begin to link up the openness to the conditioning themes and begin to observe the stories, rather than be caught in their shadow realm. The mind’s role is to observe the body’s experiences, to be present, here, now. When our attention is on identifying with the mind’s commentaries, we are no longer observing, we are lost once again in the shadows.
One strategy that people adopt as they begin to recognize their conditioning is to try to distance themselves from the mental stories, to ignore them, or try to ‘affirm’ a more positive mental story. The dilemma is that the stories are a finger pointing towards what we are here to learn about. When we ignore the shadows, we limit the mind’s potential.
As long as we are chasing shadows, or trying to avoid the shadows, we cannot fulfill the mind’s purpose – to engage in a process of awareness. Each time we see the conditioning story for what it is, and where it is in our openness, we learn a little more about that aspect of life. Slowly, over time, we become aware of what our genuine life is, and what the shadow on the wall is here to teach us.
This life is our opportunity to learn, to become wise about what we are not; and to share our observations and wisdom with one another, when asked, when it is correct. Conditioning, like the shadows, is a part of life. When we discover the individual way we are here to observe our experiences, our life becomes a journey of awareness.
Noticing Your Life - January 12, 2018
4 Ways to Experiment with Goals and Resolutions in 2018 by Leela Swann-Herbert
With the release of the Rave New Year Forecast, here’s something to consider about the year ahead.
We are used to thinking of the New Year as a time to make resolutions, to will ourselves to change into who we think we could be in order to be happy. We even say: Have a Happy New Year; as if wishing it would make the whole package of change and happiness come true. The collective tendency is to create resolutions or goals, and then 3 to 6 weeks later, internally judge and criticize for failing to keep those resolutions, and failing to make those changes that should be bringing us a life filled with happiness.
This year, instead of following the collective’s resolution/failure/self-judgment pattern, there is the potential for something different this year: To experiment, and observe what life brings. Here are some potential options – though truly, each of us experiment in our own unique way.
#1: Set a Resolution or goal – but as an experiment
Goals or resolutions are a product of the mind – an ideal of what we think our life could be, should be, if we only make this change. Instead, we can look at goals and resolutions as an experiment, a pathway that we have identified as having potential value. If we can approach goals and resolutions with no pressure or expectation, free of artificial willpower, then we can watch, and see what life actually brings for us to experience.
Example: I can set an experiment that I would like to feel physically stronger and more fit in the year ahead. Then I can observe my experiment:
Does my body actually move towards the activities that can enhance my fitness? Does that action arise in the body today?
Or, does it remain an idea that my body doesn’t have any genuine energy for?
Does my mind try to push (using that willpower) to get me to do the activities?
Does my mind turn doing or not doing the activities into a story or judgment about myself?
#2: Observe your mind’s self-judgments as an experiment
Self-judgement is simply the mind’s way to try to manipulate you into following its decisions rather than honoring the strategy of your type and your body’s Inner Authority. It is how the mind goes about proving to you that it knows best how to help you get ahead, do more, be more, make more of your life by changing you.
There is no way to shut off the internal self-judgment voice. It’s not about ignoring it or shunning it so that it goes away. Nor it is about following the mind’s dictates. It is about the experiment of self-observation. It’s an opportunity to see the way your mind has turned the experience of openness into a pattern of mental protection. That which we can observe, we can be aware of – if we are aware of the pattern, we do not have to follow it into action.
Example: I have a long-standing internal story about how I should make more money, or else I’ll end up a bag lady on the street. This becomes an internal voice of self-judgment: I’m not doing enough to get ahead in life; that I have to work harder than everyone else – or else I’ll fail; I have to do more to have more, and so on. I can experiment with observing this internal dialog:
Can I notice where, when, and how I feel this pressure in my body?
Can I discover the mechanics of this pressure in my BodyGraph?
Can I notice when this internal dialog is taking place?
Do I observe it, or do I act upon it?
What do I learn from observing this?
What do I learn from acting upon it?
#3: Experiment with Goals and Resolutions as a social process
The tools of Human Design – Strategy, and Inner Authority – give us a practical foundation for communication in partnerships and groups. Goal setting, with these tools, then becomes a shared process to discover what is correct for all involved through strategy and Inner Authority. Experimentation then gives us the process for course-correction as the project unfolds; feedback and discussion can lead to new realizations and direction. This then circles back to strategy and Inner Authority and discovering what next steps are correct for all involved, based upon real-time experiences.
Example: Dharmen and I are working on a project together, and he’s a Reflector and I’m an Emotional Generator. I initiated the planning discussion with him; then he asked me if a planning discussion was correct for me. Our discussion led to a potential project, which then I wrote about for clarification. That led to further discussion, and from that we have set a goal. Now we are both engaged in observing this project and the goal involved. We can each observe our experiment with this shared project, and then discuss our observations with each other:
Does my body actually move towards the project? Does working on it arise in the body today?
Or, does it remain an idea that my body doesn’t have any genuine energy for?
Does my mind try to push (using that willpower) to get me to work on this project?
Does my mind turn doing or not working on this project into a story or judgment about myself?
When we discuss our self-observations with each other, we can hear ourselves and discover how we express ourselves from our Outer Authority; along with these discoveries comes feedback and course correction, that can become the new shared experiment – or a decision to move in a different direction.
#4: Experiment with Acceptance
When we start to experiment with goals and resolutions, we will likely find a new sense of relaxation within ourselves. Experimentation can bring a sense of ease with the whole process. It moves goals from: I have to do this, into - what do I notice about this?
As we explore our internal dialog and self-judgment, we can begin to discover a new sense of gentleness with the mind, and for its limitations as a guide for our lives. As we observe our body’s genuine way of moving through life – rather than pushed by the mind/ego – we can find a greater trust in our body’s intelligence and our awareness of it through strategy and Inner Authority. Slowly, we may find a sense of acceptance of our lives, and with that acceptance, a momentary sense of awareness, of this present moment.
What would your life look like, if you accepted it exactly as it is right now? Instead of goal setting, can you experience being present in your body, here, and now?
Take a calm, deep, breath, become aware of this now, imbue it with your sense of observing the body’s experience of the breath’s movement, of the heart beating, of the light coming in through your eyes, and so on. There is no future moment that you can experience right now. You can only experience here and now.
Noticing Your Life - May 8, 2017
Living with Feeling - A Field Guide to the Solar Plexus
Living with feeling can be a dilemma for all of us—for those who have the defined Solar Plexus as a part of their design, and for those with an open Solar Plexus.
I’m an emotional being. When I met Human Design, I had spent years trying to change who I was, trying to improve myself, to be a more likeable person. My mind told me that what I had to do, above all, was to stop being so emotional.
At that time, I had no real sense of my emotional wave. I had a lot of reasons for what I thought I was feeling, but I wasn’t actually feeling my changing emotions. And, I was caught in a loop of spewing blame on others, and telling them why I thought I was feeling that way—then dealing with the emotional backlash that came my way. The idea of making emotions my authority for decision-making was so far from my experience that it took several years to embrace and become aware of feeling, and to find emotional clarity.
In the past 18 years of experimenting with Human Design, I’ve found a few field notes helpful for the defined Solar Plexus person, and those who choose to live with them.
For the defined Solar Plexus Person:
1. The body, not the mind, is the doorway to experiencing feeling. Learn to notice nervousness in the body. This is your wave in motion.
2. Observe when the mind labels the nervousness—and how it turns the label into a problem or reason for the feeling. The mind is actually creating a story about the feeling. There is no logic, no reasoning in the Solar Plexus—it is emotional chemistry on the move. An emotional person can cry taking out the garbage one day, and sing with happiness taking out the garbage the next day. The garbage is not a reason for the feeling—the chemistry is simply on the move in their wave.
3. When you have to make a decision—sleep on it. That includes decisions to send emails and texts, and to make purchases. If that urge to send a message, express an idea, or purchase an item and it is not there tomorrow, it’s not for you. Be sure to be asked or invited, or to inform others about decisions a second time for anything that involves other people, places, or projects: this is your double check on whether any nervousness remains about your decision. If there’s no further nervousness—proceed. If the double check brings up further nervousness, you need more time in your wave.
4. The highs and lows of your wave are for you alone. When you notice nervousness cranking up, or dropping you low, that’s a signal telling you you need time alone. You can only observe your wave experience when you’re alone. The minute someone else is in your aura, you are no longer you without personal conditioning.
5. Clarity can feel like no feeling at all, as it is the absence of nervousness. Clarity can feel neutral, balanced, like a sense or internal place of equanimity. When we experience clarity, we feel no excitement, no dread. It can feel as ordinary as walking from one room to the next.
6. Emotional highs are not the goal. Life is not meant to be one peak emotional experience after another. The mind would like to manipulate your life so that you never go down in your wave, or if you are down in your wave, pull you up again. The emotional life is resilient: if the wave goes down, it will come back up; if it goes up, it will come back down.
7. Low emotional waves are not a problem to be solved. We often fear that the low end of the wave will never end, and we may have a mental habit of trying to force the (wave) experience to change: habits such as eating for comfort, using drugs, drinking alcohol, and over-exercising are all ways emotional beings can try to numb themselves out of feeling down. Melancholy is a natural part of living with feeling. Explore your lows alone—find the space to explore the feeling creatively. All humans carry the creative potential to sing, dance, write poetry, paint, draw, work with clay, dig in the dirt or play with fibers, etc. It’s not about being mentally judged as being ‘good’ at creative expression; it is about your experience of creative self-expression. Melancholy is the muse, or source of inspiration, calling to you.
8. No Truth in the Now points to the fact that you cannot take a snapshot of your feeling of Now and assume that you’ll feel the same way about something from one moment to the next. It means intelligence is arriving in the wave for you. Not mental intelligence, but non-linear, non-verbal, felt-sense data that guides the body’s life. Nothing is spontaneous in the emotional life, and there are no final outcomes. It is a wave of data that can be observed, but not controlled, hurried along, or mentally interpreted.
9. Emotional awareness leads to the emergence of communion. The potential emotional expression is the communion of your felt-sense of awareness. Others may be able feel your felt-sense of awareness, but you have to find it within yourself first. Being in communion with your own emotional wave is where communion with others begins.
For the open Solar Plexus person:
1. It is not “your fault,” even if an emotional person tells you it is. The Solar Plexus emotions are not personal, no matter what the emotional person is telling you or yelling at you about. Even if you have taken in and become identified with the emotional energy, it is not personal.
2. You have no fixed way of processing Solar Plexus chemistry, but you likely experience repetitive pathways when you are conditioned by the high or low end of someone’s wave: you may experience tears, a lump in the throat or being unable to speak, shortness of breath, stomach pain or tightness, or your digestion may shut down for a time.
3. You can be aware through your own unique observation of the other’s emotional wave. If they are in the high or low end of their wave, leave them alone. Let them know that you need some space, that you will be back, or that you’ll be happy to have this discussion later, but not now. Otherwise, it is likely that you will end up in an emotional fight about you leaving, not being available, etc., and then in a fight about whatever feeling their mind is labelling and making into a problem.
4. Amplification takes place when you take in the emotions of others, and then express that energy as your own but even stronger—what we sometimes call “making mountains out of mole-hills.” This experience of amplification is how your mind tries to help you recognize emotional energy, but not so you identify with it. Like a finger pointing, amplification is pointing you toward observing your experience of the mechanics, and toward what you are learning about—not what your mind is telling you to be.
5. Learn about, and learn to identify and observe your mechanics of openness in action. Observe what you notice whenever you meet defined Solar Plexus people. What is your sense of the 40-37 energy? What is your sense of the 59-6? What do you learn about these emotional energies when you meet them? Another opportunity to understand how you process emotional energy is through ‘Hanging gates’—gates that are alone in a channel and open to the input of the (harmonic) gate at the other end. These hanging gates are fingers pointing toward specific energies each of us is here to learn about. Hanging gates in the open Solar Plexus, or in channels that connect to the Solar Plexus offer opportunities to learn how you meet specific emotional energies through people or transits.
6. Remember that there is intelligence arriving in the wave for Emotional beings, but it is not linear. It is non-verbal, and it takes time to emerge. There is no truth in the now, as it takes time to reach a sense of clarity. When Emotional beings experience this wave, they may not be able to communicate what they are feeling.
7. The Solar Plexus person is not spontaneous. If you have a spontaneous design, that’s great, but don’t expect the SP person to have your timing. They can need a lot of lead time: time to reach clarity about decisions, or to get ready to go out the door—which can mean time to disengage from what they are doing. Don’t expect them to jump up and go.
8. The SP person doesn’t need a bunch of questions around making a decision. One question, one invitation, or one opportunity to inform is all they need to start the wave in motion. Like a pebble rippling in a pond, it will take them through their wave. Too many different questions create many of waves. Once the SP person has reached clarity, they need to be asked or invited, or have time to inform again to verify no further nervousness remains about their decision.
9. Don’t poke the bear. There is no need to avoid confrontation and truth; however, timing is everything. Wait until the SP person is back to neutral before trying to have a discussion. Make sure you are no longer holding a charge of emotional chemistry.
10. The defined Solar Plexus is bringing the human potential for true communion. And, most humans don’t commune on the emotional level, yet. Most of us communicate mentally—which is different from communion. For you, with an open Solar Plexus, the experience of communion begins with your awareness of your body’s unique frequency, finding what is you, and accepting what is not you. Out of our individual recognition of ourselves, there is the potential for sharing that is non-verbal, not physical, nor mental—a communion of the spirit.
Noticing Your Life 11/22/16
Part 2 – Transforming the Personality Experience
Radical Transformation offers advanced Human Design tools for transforming our experience with both the Body and the Personality. In the previous article, I discussed some of the body-related awareness experiences that Radical Transformation experimentation has provided.
This article continues this exploration with personality-related awareness benefits or aha moments, which have arisen through practice with these mechanical tools and observational skills, which you can experience for yourself through Radical Transformation.
The Personality is Who We Think We Are Filtered Through the Mind
It is the body that lives the life, but the personality is who we think we are. The development of conscious mental thoughts, or internal dialog, is an evolutionary achievement of the human brain which reached its apex in our 7-centered ancestors. In 7-centered humans, the ability to identify with the thinking process, to be the thinker, was a logical extension of the mind as decision-maker.
As 9-Centered humans, we have the gift of an advanced body which provides us with access to an Inner Authority, to the body’s intelligence as decision-maker; and yet, the personality remains identified with the thinker. For the personality, this trust in the body’s authority, regardless of the personality’s commentary, can shatter the illusion that life is under personality control. This can be disorienting for the personality, as it loses its ‘job’ and influence. However, there is a new role for the personality that the practice of Radical Transformation tools provides: the role of observer of the life, and to be able to communicate what has been learned.
The Personality cannot be fixed, but it can be Observed
Fundamental to the personality is the mind’s ability to measure between this and that. It’s why the mind is so good at arguing both sides of a topic; it can examine infinite possibilities and variations of comparing this and that. It is the great gift of if/then, doubts, questions, confusion, mysteries that arise from this lack of absolutes. Without this ability, humans would be reduced to one linear thought.
The dilemma arises when we imbue the Personality programming with omniscience: the ability to understand what people really mean when they talk, the capacity to predict the future and interpret the past accurately. We begin to think that the voice inside our heads is our protector, our guide rather than software programming.
The remedy is to begin to observe the programming; to recognize that there is a particular pattern, a mechanical formula for our particular software. Once we begin to observe the mind itself, the tools of observing the mind’s perspective and motivation become essential. Through these tools it becomes possible to recognize the levers and switches of our particular programming. Not to repair it, change it or try to stabilize it; but rather to observe its particular ‘this and that.’ Awareness develops through observation.
Out of this awareness develops a distinct way of seeing experiences from our unique perspective. This becomes the foundation for new, aware pathways for observing the way our mind operates. Our individual way of thinking and expressing develops through the practice of observing our perspective and its distraction; and awareness of our mind’s motivation as it expresses how we see and think about our experiences of life.
These observations, when asked for, can be communicated and provide value for others.
Example: My Perspective is the 3rd Color, Power. This perspective allows me to see how things work in the strategic, hierarchic world. In my life, I am infinitely curious about how everything works, including Human Design. I’m a big fan of the Olympic Games, watching the Oscars, and reading reviews of movies that I will likely never watch, and learning about new products, most of which I will never actually use.
My distraction is Personal: my mind makes up personal stories about how I need to get ahead, and what I need to be doing to make it in the world. When I’m lost in my distraction, I’m always looking to compare my life to others, and my life never measures up to my mind’s hierarchy of worldly attainment; and what I should do in order to get ahead and be loved. These stories are tied to my open G and open Root Centers. By observing this movement between my Power view, and my Personal distraction, I begin to be aware of how my mind actually translates experience, and how it makes up imaginary stories.
Perspective shapes the mind’s outer Authority
We are aware of the body intelligence through our Inner Authority; we can become aware of the personality intelligence through our Outer Authority. Outer Authority is the personality’s capacity to express what has been learned through observation, through one’s unique perspective.
The key aspect of Outer Authority is that it is not for our own life; what the mind expresses is for others, when they ask for it, and when our Inner Authority determines that it is correct to respond. Outer Authority is called out by the other, it is for the other. Communication is one of the great gifts of being human, to be able to share one’s individual experiences of life, how one sees and thinks about those experiences. We are not here to be all things to all people. We are here to live out our body’s narrow, specific path and to be able to share that experience with others. In this way, all our lives are enriched through communication. Your observations of your life are going to be so different than my own; I will never have your experience, even if I sit beside you.
Over time, I’ve begun to be aware of how my way of seeing informs and shapes my mind’s motivation. My mind’s Motivation is the 4th Color, Need. When I’m asked for my observations, my communication expresses what is needed by the questioner. It’s not about what I think I want to say, or the stories my mind has been imagining. The questioner literally draws out a specific expression from my mind. My wonder at how things work, and my ability to observe my personal distraction, gives me a unique basis for thinking and expressing what is needed. It is why I can write this particular article. If someone else wrote on this topic, it would be an entirely different article.
By Experimenting with Radical Transformation, we become aware of our Passenger
Gradually through ongoing experimentation with the tools of Radical Transformation, we begin to experience the stabilization of the form, and we experience the alignment of the body to its unique path in life.
Slowly, awareness of the mind itself begins to take place rather than identification with the mental voice. We begin to realize that there is the capacity to observe our moment by moment experience of the body/mind, the awareness of self-realized consciousness while in form. Although the passenger is not separate from the design;; there can arise the distinct awareness of the passenger, simply relaxed and observing the unique binary of body/mind.
Noticing Your Life 11/17/16
Part 1 – Transforming the Body Experience
The majority of people who discover Human Design experiment with their Strategy and Inner Authority. They discover an easier life, one not limited by meeting resistance. They come closer and closer to living the life that is correct for their design. However, this is not the same as fulfilling the possibility of one’s process of transforming and living a life beyond compare, an awake and aware life.
When Ra first introduced the tools of Radical Transformation through the Variables, he commented that only a small group of individuals who discover Human Design will go on to realize their potential through experimentation with their Variables. It’s not a necessary part of every person’s path with Human Design; however, when it is correct, it can lead to an exceptional and deeply individual process of self-discovery.
For the past 8 years, Dharmen and I have guided year-long online Transformation Courses and supported individuals step by step in the discovery of their uniqueness through the tools of Radical Transformation. Over the years, we have found that there are aha moments, what may be called awareness benefits, which tend to arise when we put into practice the mechanical tools and observational skills of Radical Transformation. Here are some body-related awareness benefits that you can experience for yourself through Radical Transformation.
The Brain is Hardware, the Personality is Software
The brain is not separate from the body; it is a fundamental aspect of the Design. It is bio-chemical, bio-electric hardware. Using the analogy of a computer, the brain has both a hard drive for memory storage and a processing center where complex comparisons take place. It has sensory input devices – smell, taste, touch, vision, etc. In Human Design terms, on the Design side, the Head Center provides us with the memory storage and the sensory input capabilities; the Ajna Center provides the processing.
The Personality is the software that runs on the hardware of the brain. The mind operates through bio-electrical and bio-chemical signals firing between the neural cells. Mind is in essence a series of on/off switches and signals that takes place simultaneously throughout the neural networks. Over time, the repetition of specific neural pathways creates repetitive thought patterns – what we call conditioning in Human Design.
When we begin to observe the programmed, software nature of the mind, it begins to lose its power over our life. Awareness is a software upgrade, a more advanced neural networking program. Without optimal brain function, regardless of the desire for awakening, the potential in the hardware may not be present. Just like on a computer, if the hardware cannot handle the upgrade, the more advanced software cannot be installed.
Transformation Begins with the Body
The very first step in Radical Transformation is to begin to practice our individual PHS Determination. This determination gives us a specific regimen to enhance the body’s digestion, which enables it to absorb nutrients properly for effective cellular repair, maintenance and growth. When we enhance the body’s nutrient absorption, we enhance the entire body’s wellbeing – but most important, the brain’s functioning. Radical Transformation at its most fundamental level is to enhance the brain hardware, the brain’s capacity for cognition; this lays the foundation for a shift in consciousness.
PHS is often mistaken as being a diet, which it is not. What we eat, how much we eat, when we eat is an Inner Authority decision. PHS is about digestion. For example, I have a PHS 5th Color with a Right variable, which is Low Sound: the circumstances that my body requires for healthy digestion is a low sound frequency. This is not just for the digestion of food, but of life experience as well.
Over the past 10 years, I’ve found that the key ingredient for my digestion is my silence, and the correct low sounds to be present around me. Some days the murmur of low voices in the background is comfortable for my body, and some low-frequency music with cello, bass, or drums is tolerable at the correct volume. Likewise, some high-frequency sounds like violins or flutes can feel unbearable, and (it feels like) my body tries to close off. If I eat in a high sound environment, such as most restaurants, I do not digest my food properly, and I find that gas, indigestion, or heartburn can result, regardless of my food choices.
The Body can be Stabilized, Fixed
The foundation for awareness is the stabilization of the body’s frequency. This is the great gift of the 9-centered body – it can be fixed, stabilized, consistent, and reliable. The practice of Strategy and Inner Authority provide the mechanics for correct navigation. PHS Determination is essential to the stabilization process; it dials in our individual frequency.
I like the analogy of a radio. When you dial in a particular station, the frequency locks in, and you get a clear broadcast. If you don’t get the station dialed in properly, it doesn’t have a clear signal, and there can be a whole lot of static in the transmission. You may hear some of the broadcast, but it is difficult to understand.
It’s the same way with the body’s intelligence. PHS determination dials in the unique frequency of your Design, so you can be aware of the transmission taking place in your Inner Authority. Without PHS, no matter how much attention you pay to your Inner Authority, the instability in the frequency can make it difficult to get a clear frequency transmission. It is essential to be fully engaged in one’s experiment with Strategy and Inner Authority prior to starting the practice of your PHS determination.
The Body is never separate from Where it is
This seems like an obvious fact; however, because we often look at the BodyGraph in isolation, there is a tendency to mentally isolate the vehicle. Through practice with Radical Transformation tools, we can become aware of the various environmental resonances and harmonics that the body passes through on a daily basis. Environment can be misunderstood as being a particular place, especially by those with open G-Centers. With time and practice, we can learn to recognize the environmental resonances that are correct for our unique body. This recognition provides a valuable navigational tool as we move along our path in life: the body’s awareness of the presence of resonance.
Example: My partner Dharmen’s environmental color is 1st Color: Caves. Caves as an environment is often described as a particular place, such as a room with a single entrance. The resonant frequency of Caves is actually observed as the body moves through its life experiences. For Dharmen, the security of the Cave resonance can be found anywhere he goes: in a car, in a restaurant seated with his back to the wall, in a friend’s home. It is the recognition of his body’s sense of security that is his signpost. Wherever he goes, if he doesn’t experience the Cave resonance, it is time to move elsewhere.
It is the Body that Lives the Life
Through your individual experiment with the tools of Radical Transformation, your relationship with your body will change. It is the body that lives the life; this is a truth that we’ve all heard mentioned in Human Design, but the awareness of this as a moment-by-moment experience revolutionizes our internal compass. Over time with the practice of the PHS determination, and awareness of one’s environmental resonance, a natural sense of trust arises in the body and its capacity to not only guide the life, but live it fully.
There is nothing as transformative as waking up as your true self each day. There is a moment, before the mind begins blathering away, a moment when consciousness returns and one can simply be present to this body. As the body stabilizes, this moment of awakening each day can become one of recognition, a return to a fixed sense of being present to life in this body, while in the midst of an infinite variety of experiences.
Noticing Your Life 10/7/16
Debunking 5 Common Myths about Generators and the Sacral Center
Whether it’s in Facebook groups, or on websites, there’s plenty of talk about Generators and the Sacral Center all over the place in Human Design. Some of the comments you hear may be helpful, such as, Generators need to be asked. Other times, you may hear some misinformation, myths that masquerade as fact. From examining the truth about Generator Strategy, to explaining how to recognize a sacral response, this article is going to demystify five common myths about Generators and the Sacral Center.
1. Manifesting Generators are a different Type than Generators.
One of the big rumors running around the HD world is that Manifesting Generators are a 5th Type – this is a myth.
Type is a mechanical function of the design. The defined Sacral Center is the mechanical characteristic of all Generators, and this determines howthe specific way in which the aura operates, which is the wayhow Generatorsthey meet life. Manifesting Generators have a defined Sacral Center; therefore, they are Generators.
Manifesting Generators do have the mechanical characteristic of having a motor connected to the Throat Center. However, they are neithernot Manifestors, nor are they here to inform before they act. The Strategy of a Generator: wait and respond, applies to all Generators, Manifesting Generators included. The Manifesting Generator’s manifesting capability can actually be seen as a projection.
2. Not all Generators make sacral sounds.
Some peopleThere are some out there who will tell you that not all Generators make sacral sounds – this is only true in Generators who are not experimenting. Once a Generator begins to experiment and operate correctly, there will be sacral sounds.
The Generator aura is open! It is taking life in moment by moment— - there's no way for a Generator to keep life out. There is a potential response to everything: the sound of a bird, the feel of a pillow, the smell of a flower, the light through the window. It's all taking place, often without notice, which is why the sacral sounds are such a gift; we learn to pay attention to the responses of the form itself.
The sounds of the Sacral Center are mechanical. They are produced in the body through resonance between the thoracic diaphragm, located just below the lungs, and the pelvic diaphragm at the base of the pelvic bowl. The sound vibrates between these two diaphragms like a drum. Thanks to human anatomy, all Generators have the capacity to make sacral sounds that are generated by the Sacral Center. The dilemma for most of us is that we were taught at an early age to use words to communicate, and these muscles have atrophied. Like priming a pump, it takes exercise to get these muscles moving freely.
After I had my reading with Ra, I was fortunate to have a Generator friend I could practice and exercise our sacral sounds with. We started having what my friend called “‘Sacral Sessions.”’. These were times whenre we would ask each other random yes and no questions and often explode in giggles and laughter: Do you like ice cream? Do you like pickles? We recorded one of our sessions on a cassette tape, and she sent it to Ra. His comment: “‘This can be very useful for Generators.”’
It was intrinsically helpful for me, especially as I have a defined Head and Ajna connected to my Throat, and I have long had thehad a strong and long habit of speaking my mind. Slowly, I began to honor my body’s sounds that would arise naturally, with no thought involved: responses to life as it came into my aura: Ahhhh! Liberation is satisfying.
3. Strategy and Inner Authority is the same thing for Generators.
This is a myth. Strategy and Inner Authority are two different mechanics. The confusion for Generators is that the Sacral Center is involved in both mechanics.
Strategy gives us the key to how our aura operates: The Generator aura is determined by the defined Sacral Center, and the aura is open to all of life; therefore, the strategy is to wait for life to enter the open aura, the sacral responds with sounds. A response can arise to anything that enters the aura; however, it does not mean that thing requires a decision.
Example: I was walking along a busy Seattle street with my partner, Dharmen, and in a shop window I saw a poster for an International Tea Symposium. The poster was gorgeous, and I had an immediate response of “Ah-huh” to the poster. My first thoughtThe first thought in my mind was,: ‘Oh, I need to go to this Tea Symposium’.
Instead of running inside the shop and buying a ticket, I turned to Dharmen and said,: “‘I just had a response to this Tea Symposium Poster, can you ask me some questions about it?”’
He asked: “‘Do you need to go to this event?”’ - “‘Unh-unh.”’
He asked: “‘Do you need a cup of tea?”’ – “‘Unh-unh.”’
He asked: “‘Do you just like this poster?”’ - “‘Ah-huh.”’
And finally, I recognized that there is a difference between a response and a decision. And, over time, I’ve discovered that most responses do not require action, or any decision whatsoever.
4. You can have a friend ask you a yes/no question about something you want to do.
New Generators in their experiment often look for ways to continue living the life that they think they want, and still honor their Strategy and Inner Authority. This leads to thinking such as: if I hear my response, then it must be ok to do it; and, this is a another myth.
Here’s my example, as I fell into this trap early on in my experiment: I felt like I was living in the wrong place. My job had recently ended, my relationship was long distance, and it felt as if nothing was really moving for me where I was living.
I had a friend record a tape for me, asking me about moving to several different cities that my mind thought would be good for me. I’m emotional, so I needed to feel my wave through multiple sacral responses; and the tape was a handy way to be asked multiple times. Although I practiced responding, there was no real clarity over time with this method. I couldn’t feel my sacral energy getting engaged, whatsoever, because it was all hypothetical. No one was asking me to move, I wasn’t asked to a project or place. My mind was making up the whole thing…trying to get my life to become what I thought I wanted.
However, when in real life, I was asked to move, and there was a place I was being asked to go,; then the wave was truly set in motion from my responses. And, over time, clarity emerged, and life moved me.
Only decisions that arrive from outside the aura as a yes/no question that involve other people, places or projects require a decision through the Sacral Center’s response. For 50% of all Generators with Solar Plexus Authority for decisions, the sacral sound response to the Yes/No question initiates the emotional wave; it literally begins the process of the Inner Authority.
5. Generators know when enough is enough.
One of the key strategies of the mind running the life from the open Sacral is: never knowing when enough is enough. Ergo, a Generator knows when enough is enough – that’s also a myth.The truth is the Generator doesn’t know this. Knowing is a mental activity, and has nothing to do with the correct functioning of the Sacral Center. The Sacral Center can recognize when there is energy for an activity, and when the energy is no longer available – and we can observe this through the sacral sounds.
Generators can interpret this knowing when enough is enough as the ability to think they know when enough is enough. Often, new Generators can think that because they entered into something correctly through response, that doing that thing will be correct forever, always. The truth is that enough is enough is a moment by moment body experience for Generators.
The form’s intelligence is unconscious to the Personality until awareness and recognition develops. For Generators, this awareness takes place through observing their sacral response; therefore, knowing when enough is enough is a process of moment by moment awareness of their sacral response to life.
Noticing Your Life 9/12/16
Manifestors: It’s Not Personal
The Manifestor aura has been described as closed, repellent, or non-attractive. The mystery for the other types is that the Manifestors closed aura mechanically triggers a pull-back reaction. A Manifestors presence doesn’t feel like everyone else’s; where they stand is guarded in the energy field. Manifestors can seem unavailable, that they that cannot be reached; no matter how much effort is made by the other, or by the Manifestor.
Two arm lengths in every direction, the aura field is different for each Type. The Manifestors aura is the very first experience that we have in meeting a Manifestor. The unique way in which the Manifestor aura is experienced is at the root of many of the difficulties in being a Manifestor; and it at the root of how the mind interprets our interactions with Manifestors.
I am an Emotional Generator daughter of an Emotional Manifestor father, and the mother of an Emotional Manifestor son, and the aura phenomenon of the Manifestor is deeply familiar to me. For years, before my Human Design experiment, my mind turned the mechanical differences between us into stories of not being loved, and of not being loving enough, the Unavailable Father, and the Unreachable Child. I made the Manifestor mechanics personal to me.
I remember this feeling with my son, especially when he was a baby. How I felt towards him when I was alone was distinctly different than how I felt when I was with him. I loved my son deeply; and yet, the minute I stepped into his aura, there was a subtle pull-back, a mental dialog of something’s not quite right with me, with him, with how being together felt. As a parent, I pushed through these thoughts, and yet, never truly felt like I connected deeply with my son; at least, not as much as my mind thought I should or could.
Even today, when I step into my 94 year old father’s aura, there is a subtle, energetic pulling back that takes place within me. There is a subtle cringe in my energy, an ego push to want him to be different than he is. I now know that this experience is based upon my conditioning: my push to be in control, my emotional drive to make him feel/seem more like a Generator, so that I feel more comfortable with him.
For me, the beauty of experiencing the mechanics of Human Design is in the deep recognition of what is, not what my mind thinks what could be, should be, if only. When I recognized that my father and son were simply closed, I realized that their aura wasn’t personal. It wasn’t about me, about love, or anything else my inner dialog could interpret. My experience is simply a function of the differences between us: my open-to-everything-in-life aura, and their closed-to-everyone aura.
The nature of this closed aura protects the Manifestor from being influenced by others. The great gift of the Manifestor design is their power to initiate, to put into words and action the energy of their non-sacral motors. By being closed to influence, they carry the potential to be deeply aligned to their Inner Authority as the guide for their actions. What most Manifestors fail to recognize in their closed aura, is that their words and actions impact others. The Manifestor operates behind closed doors, so when they act or speak it has great impact. It can feel like what they say or do comes out of nowhere – others can’t sense it, can feel blind-sided.
This impact upon others is why the strategy of informing others before initiating can be life changing for a Manifestor. With the act of informing, they begin to recognize their own impact upon others; not to be influenced by the other, but to acknowledge the interconnectedness, even when they do not feel it. And, by informing others, they build a communication bridge of trust with others.
It is important to teach a Manifestor child to have good manners, to develop the strategy of asking permission. Asking permission is the child’s process of developing the recognition that what they do impacts others. Within the strategy of asking permission is an acknowledgment, that in this case, for now, this is not the child’s decision; it is not the child’s mind that gets to decide, but the Inner Authority of the parent. Gradually, as the child develops their awareness of their Inner Authority, decisions are moved from the responsibility of the parent’s Inner Authority to the child’s Inner Authority; asking permission becomes the act of informing.
What many Manifestors fail to recognize is that the act of informing is also the moment that they can develop the awareness of their Inner Authority. So often decision making in Manifestors is presented as ‘they can do what they want’. This is not true. Manifestors are not here to make mental decisions, nor are they here to make personal ego decisions. The one Ego Manifesting channel is the 45/21 which deals with the material wellbeing of the tribe: which is an Inner Authority decision based upon serving the greater good.
It is in the act of informing that the Manifestor has the opportunity to be aware of their Inner Authority. Not everything the Manifestor informs about is going to actually happen, not all thoughts become initiated. Manifestors are built to only initiate action upon what they recognize as correct in that moment of informing; either through their emotional clarity of informing multiple times, or splenic awareness in the Now of informing, or the ego push/pull towards the greater good. Otherwise, it is just another thought, another idea that comes and goes, regardless of who or how many times they have informed others about it.
Mature Manifestors find great peace in not having to do everything their mind thinks, or their ego wants. One of the consistent themes I’ve noticed among all the Manifestors in my life is their drive to be left alone to do their own thing. To be left in peace. To not have to deal with the continual interference of those who want them to be available all the time. To be left alone to do or not do, to simply enjoy being, as they are.
Noticing Your Life September 6, 2016
Living my 4/6 Role - Leela
I began my experiment of Human Design in a deep identification with the Personality; with who I think I am. It’s been a process to recognize that it’s the body that lives the life, the Design side with its unique Inner Authority and its own intelligence, with its own consciousness.
The dilemma is that the body’s consciousness is unconscious to the Personality. It is not unconscious to the body – just to that who I think I am which is used to running the life. Slowly, over the 7 years of deconditioning the body, the Personality, through the development of observation, becomes aware of the body’s consciousness, the body’s path that arises through the Inner Authority, step by step, decision by decision.
At the beginning of my experiment, it took a great amount of trust to begin to allow the body its life, to trust in the decisions of my body’s Inner Authority. And, it continues to require a greater amount of trust to recognize that the Personality, that who I think I am, is not for my own life. Personality is for everyone else – when asked, when invited, when initiated – and when it is correct to express it, to communicate through it.
I was so deeply identified with my 4th line personality at the beginning of my experiment, that I really believed it was Me. I believed that the body was simply something that came along for the ride, that it was a necessary part of being alive; but, that the body belonged to the personality, to the mind – that the body was a possession.
My 4th line personality, when I was not operating correctly, when it was not observing the life experiences that the body was actually having, provided a difficult, illusory life. As a 4/6, I’m a personal destiny being, but when the 4th line personality was running the life, it was all about the other.
Will they be friends with me? Will they bring me opportunities to get what I think I want? Will they support me? Can I confide in them? Can I trust them? I had constant mental stories about wanting friendship, wanting a benefactor, wanting support, wanting life to be the way I think it should be, wanting to get beyond mental judgment of myself (and projecting it on others), wanting people to treat me a particular way, taking life personally... And, none of it was actually taking place in my experience. The mind’s story was simply a mental formula that wanted life to be a particular way: If (this) then I'll have, be or do (that).
Part of my dilemma at the start of my experiment was that I held a deep distrust of my physical experiences of life. My first phase as a 6th line being was physically chaotic, especially after I left home at 17. By the time I reached my Saturn return, I had been married and divorced twice (once with a drug addict and the other with a physical abuser), and had a 7 year old son. My Saturn return was a major shift in my life – my mother died, I went to live in an ashram for 6 months, moved to Hawaii, and met my partner Dharmen – all in one year.
I met Human Design during my 6th Line body’s second phase – the roof phase. I’ve never been as healthy before or after – as in my roof phase. My body was strong, capable, and resilient. I could burn the candle at both ends, and never skip a beat. I worked full time, had a relationship, home, and family with 3 children. I was also still driven by my 4th line personality to be deeply involved in my social networks. I was superwoman – trying to be all things to all people.
And of course, it all came crashing down when I came down from the roof at my Kiron return; I literally came off the roof head first. At my Kiron I had a physical accident and the discovery of skeletal damage that will be with me the rest of my life. After my Kiron I could no longer live the way I had been living, my body would not support the level of physical work, stress, and being on the go all the time. This mutative body continues to be my teacher: it’s the body that lives the life; it’s the personality through the mind that observes the body’s experience, and wisdom grows out of those observations.
The first years of my experiment weren’t very satisfying. I was so caught up in my busy, busy, life that it took me a long time to slow down enough to be aware of my emotional wave. I experimented with sleeping alone and my strategy and authority from the day I had my reading with Ra; but it took me three years before I recognized a felt-sense of emotional clarity with a decision. Three years to experience what clarity actually felt like in the vehicle.
At 7 years in my experiment I began practicing my PHS. I started to recognize my 6th line body experience: aloof, on the roof, sometimes empathetic, sometimes apathetic. I realized that much of the time my body has no energy for being around people. When there is energy for being around people, 40 minutes is about my limit. Then, I need to take a breather and be in my own aura space. I observed that my body is not nearly as social as my mind thinks it should be. And I'm fine with that lack of social contact. I enjoy the contacts that I do have, but they are not a condition of my happiness/unhappiness. I've begun to recognize the depth of self-loathing that exists in my melancholic mind story - and that being present to my life as it is brings me back to my balance.
At 17 years in my experiment I realize that I enjoy my own experience of life...there is a felt sense of being present in this body with its constant movement of the breath, its aches and pains as a part of life, it’s ever changing emotional flavors – and observing all of that from my personality perspective. I recognize the body’s experience; while at the same time recognize the personality’s interpretation of that experience. I see both, simultaneously without judgment, without thought, with a felt sense of wonder and grace of being in this moment.
Noticing Your LIfe: August 31, 2016
The Future of Humanity is in Our Hands
Every Human Design parent wants to raise their children correctly. The great dilemma that faces 9-centered parents is that guiding children is not the same as learning your own design. Guiding children is truly where the rubber meets the road; it is not theoretical Human Design information, but rather boots on the ground, day by day experiential Human Design practice.
Over the years, Dharmen and I have worked with parents and taught HD analysts about how to work with parents, and we’ve taken note of what makes some parents more successful as guides than others. Great 9-centered parents do not come from any specific part of the world, culture, nor age group or economic status. What they all have in common transcends the homogenized world’s ideas of success, satisfaction, surprise or peace. There are key aspects that these parents all share; they are easy to learn, but not necessarily easy to put into practice. These skills and realizations are born out of experience, observation, and practice. Here are these 5 key aspects that you can begin observing today:
1. Recognize that parenting is not an outcome oriented activity
Your child’s life is not a result or a goal. Everything that you do, all that you are, every single day is being a model for your child. Parenting is entirely an experiential process. The great fear of every parent at the beginning is that they will do something wrong and their child will turn out horrible (whatever the parent imagines horrible is – unhappy, unsuccessful, bad, etc.) Along with that fear can come an incredible weight of expectation: My child will grow up to be smart, beautiful, talented, intelligent, rich, famous, etc.
The reality is that as a parent you have 28 – 30 years to nurture, protect, and guide your child. In that time, you will continue to grow and change if you are engaged in your own experiment – and so will they. You may not live to see how their life ‘turns out’ nor is that your concern. Your role is to be present and engaged in the process – moment by moment.
2. Recognize your child’s stage of development
Human brains continue to develop outside of the womb, and continue to form basic connections and neural networks up until the end of 9-Centered childhood, the Saturn Return at age 28 -30. Even past age 30, the brain’s plasticity, its ability to form new neural connections, is the very reason that we can embrace Human Design as a practice of strategy and authority at any age.
There are 4 distinct stages of 9-Centered childhood. Each stage is characterized by new brain activity and development. At the surface, this results in changing capacities for the body and for the personality. It also means that the ability to be aware of the Inner Authority progresses throughout childhood development.
3. Recognize which decisions are yours.
Human Design is an experientially driven model – you cannot teach your children about something you do not practice for your own self. You have to model your own decision making from your strategy and Inner Authority.
And, not all decisions are opportunities for your child to practice their strategy and Inner Authority. You have to honor your Inner Authority first and foremost. For example: what you cook for dinner is your Inner Authority decision, what your child eats of that meal is their Inner Authority decision.
4. Recognize that your child’s behavior is not personal.
Your child’s behavior may push your conditioning buttons. As a parent, it is your responsibility to recognize your conditioning, and to learn about it, see it and recognize when it is being stimulated – so that you can become wise about the variety of experiences that arise through your openness. Your child may provide you with ample opportunities to become wise about your openness.
You child’s behavior at times may have a direct connection to their own conditioning. Guiding a child according to their design, when they are acting out from their conditioning, is based upon honoring your Inner Authority.
For example: A Generator parent has tried repeatedly to reason with a child who is throwing a tantrum. She begins to recognize that her open Solar Plexus is amplifying the tantrum, and she recognizes that initiating mental reasoning is an attempt to prove that she can handle the child. Next time the child begins to tantrum, she uses her Sacral ‘nuh-unh’ repeatedly, and eases the child out of the situation.
5. Recognize that you are in uncharted territory.
9-Centered parenting is not a reaction against, nor a duplication of 7-Centered parenting skills. It’s not license, it’s not ‘anything goes’ parenting, or un-parenting, either. It’s something entirely different. There are no universal roadmaps; and there are no 5 easy steps to becoming an effective parent.
9-Centered parenting is a day by day, moment by moment experiential process of being engaged in your own Human Design experiment, and gradually observing the development of your child into a self-aware individual.
Noticing Your Life: February 12, 2016
Valentine's Day and the Mating Dance
As of 18:51 GMT on Saturday, February 13th, we will have just completed the ancient winter mating season of the Sun in the 49th gate and Earth in the 4th gate: finding the pattern for the future by survival through sex. As of Saturday, we will have the experience of the emotional energy to solidify that mating into a commitment of feelings: the emotional experience at the hands of the fates with the Sun in the 30th gate and the Earth in the 29th gate. It’s a set-up – by The Program, by our genetics, by our cultures, by our traditions.
We used to be a species with seasonal mating. In our ancient past, it was part of our physical survival strategy to sexually reproduce at specific times of the year. In this way, the gestation and infancy periods could be timed to the seasonal abundance of resources from the harvest and hunt, and mother could be spared from food production activity. In this way, our biology ensured the lowest numbers of infant and mother mortality.
As we increased our mental capacity, our ability to strategically manipulate the environment our dependency on seasonal mating decreased. Through our spectacular rise in mental development our genetic imperative altered; in order to ensure the survival of the species, we became sexually available at all times. With the ability to manipulate our environment and abundant access to food, there was no longer a genetic advantage to seasonal mating.
What has replaced the mating season is a constant 24 hr. a day emphasis on sex by the mind. We see this in our advertising, in the proliferation of pornography, the emphasis on maintaining sexual attractiveness by any means possible – surgery, the gym, the right clothes, hair, make-up, little blue pills; all in the name of sex.
Valentine’s Day is the annual event designed to reinforce this strategic genetic imperative with its bonds of sexual attraction, which is given a candy-gloss all in the name of ‘LOVE’. The irony here is that this annual display of commercialized emotions has absolutely nothing to do with love, it is all about Sex. Love is the mechanic of the G-Center, it is how we are held together in the illusion of our separateness, it is what moves us along the trajectory of our lives; it is in the very air that we breathe, in every neutrino that passes through our being every second of our lives.
What homogenized humanity celebrates each Valentine’s Day is the mind’s confusion between love and sex, between ‘this and that’. The mind doesn’t distinguish between love and sex; it sees them as synonymous because for the mind, there is no experience of love, no experience of sex. At the foundation of this display, is our genetic imperative – to ensure the survival of the species through making more – with someone who is as different from us as possible. It’s all about sex, and being attracted to what we are not. This is the fundamental drive of The Program, to ensure the survival of our human species through the strategic mind. The most basic of all controls that The Program exerts is through our sexuality.
If we look closely at our cultures and traditions, what we see are the reinforced annual patterns of The Program itself. Our holidays are habitual rituals and routines that keep the not-self mind focused upon strategic survival rather than our 9-Centered potential. Now there is nothing wrong with holidays or rituals, they exist; they serve their function to keep the masses following The Program. The potential for us as 9-Centered humans, however, is to be aware of the pattern, of The Program and its survival imperative, and to utilize our own authority to guide our life rather than following the pattern. In other words, it is our potential to wake up to our unique life.
Given this context of The Program, when we examine this Valentine’s Day holiday, what we see here is the annual re-commitment to the sexual bond, or the commitment to the new sexual experience begun in the mating season of the 49th gate. Perhaps the most intriguing is this glossy glazing of the sexual-survival strategy with ‘LOVE’, the mental programming that sex and love are tied together, and that the display of emotions is an indication of love.
The Solar Plexus center, our center of the emotional wave and the emerging spirit awareness, is the source of our experience of emotions. Regardless of whether the Solar Plexus is defined or open, we experience the chemical wave of emotions. If the center is defined there is a specific fixed way in which the chemistry is experienced. If the center is open, it is open to all of the variety of ways that the chemistry can be experienced without any particular pattern, which can amplify as well as randomize the experience.
The biggest dilemma that we have with our human emotional chemistry is that the mind has been trained to interpret and make up reasons for the experience of the wave. ‘I feel this way because….of this or that.’ The mind literally makes up and connects the experience of the feeling with a mental interpretation and rationalization. The truth is there is no reason; there is no need to rationalize. There is no logic in the emotional waves of the Solar Plexus.
The mind truly cannot experience our internal life. The minute the mind is involved, it is caught up in external measurement, in the ‘this and that’. The emotions are here to be felt internally, to experience the variety or pattern of feeling, to receive the awareness and intelligent data that is arriving on the wave that is not physical, not mental but rather spirit sense. If we put a label on it, it no longer is a feeling.
We have a world in which most of humanity equates their mental interpretation of what they are feeling with the actual experience. The minute the mind steps in, the minute there are reasons for the feeling – the actual experience of the feeling is lost. The minute the mind makes a internal comment, we are no longer a witness or observer of the emotional wave, and instead have become entranced by the mind once again. We are living in a world that is moving rapidly toward spirit awareness, and yet we are caught up in old patterns of trying to interpret emotions. We lose the potential awareness that is arriving through the wave in the split-second the mind interprets or puts a label on it.
The evolutionary movement is bringing to a head this mental need to shape the world. As the cross of planning comes to an end, this struggle to hold on to the old ways is going to become even stronger. The lines will be more clearly drawn between our potential for awareness of our internal life, and the strategic mental manipulation of the external world.
So when we look at the surface, at this superficial holiday that reinforces the mental interpretation of feelings, of mis-labeling sex as being love, which hides our sexual survival strategies behind cards and flowers, we begin to see the potential that The Program offers us each year, each day, each moment: we can reinforce the pattern of The Program, or we can be aware of the patterns that drive humanity and get our unique life through experimenting with our strategy and individual authority, and trusting the experiences that life brings us, uniquely as ourselves.
Noticing Your Life - February 2, 2016
Relating and Human Design
When we began our individual experiments with Human Design, we had been in a relationship for 13 years. It was a time in our lives when we were questioning everything; we could recognize we were stuck, but couldn’t find our way out of the patterns and ruts that had become our relationship. Each of us had no idea who we were as individuals, and there was no honest basis for relating to each other. I had my idea of who he was and who he should be, my idea of who I was and who I should be; and he had his own versions of the same. There was no genuine person at home inside, for either of us.
We really didn’t start relating until after we began our individual experiments with Human Design. We’ve been developing the skills of relating ever since. Relating is an active experience: honoring each individual’s type in communication, respecting each individual’s Inner Authority in decision making, and genuinely loving our own selves, and being available to support each other’s individual growth – regardless of where that leads.
Without our Human Design experiments, who knows if we would be sharing our lives with each other? What I can say is that each of us speaks to the fact that we enjoy our own lives; more than we ever had imagined was possible, prior to HD. We genuinely enjoy each other’s unique viewpoint – which is never the same. We enjoy our time together, as well as enjoy our time alone. There is a sense of sweetness in greeting each other in the morning; discovering who that other person is today, and how they are experiencing their life. Not a moment of this life is taken for granted.
Noticing Your Life: January 22, 2016
Why Observe the Rave New Year?
Each year carries a unique transit configuration that imprints The Program for the year. The transit field is always with us - it is literally the cosmic weather. Learning to recognize the conditioning patterns that the transit field brings can shed light on the way in which your mind is attracted to a particular theme or story: a theme from which your mind can try to run your life, but also demand your attention in your inner dialog. These themes can pull attention away from your life as it is, and instead try to manipulate and direct your life.
Most of humanity experiences a 7-centered, homogenized distortion of existence, without awareness. We are not our 7-centered ancestors, and we are no longer at the mercy of a mentally driven, Outer Authority guided life. Instead, the transits of The Program offer a glimpse into our openness, our conditioning tendencies, and the potential development of wisdom; the observed experience which becomes the basis of our own Outer Authority. By studying this forecast, you can find out what signposts to watch for that can clue you into what you are witnessing and experiencing, as well as the potential for your unique wisdom to blossom in the year ahead.
So often we think of conditioning at the surface - where it has leaked out and become a mentally driven decision. However, a great amount of conditioning takes place internally: in the stories and conversations that take place inside our heads, in the various voices that judge, criticize, drive and push us to want life to be a particular way that can lead to mentally driven action.
Knowing about the transits gives us the themes to watch for, the weather patterns that life is bringing. And just like the weather, it is up to us how we interact with it: Do we make it personal and get caught up in the story of it? Or, do we recognize it as weather; and, see it as a part of life we are here to learn about, what we can become wise about?
We’ve reached the Winter Solstice of the year (12.22.15 at 04:48 GMT) on the Cross of the Vessel of Love with the Sun in Gate 10, and the Earth in the Gate 15. This year, we have a challenging homogenized view from North and South nodes, with the South Node in the Gate 36, and the North Node in Gate 6. In essence, the collective conditioning is focused upon crisis and conflict – and how to reconcile the opposition of love of Humanity and love of the Behavior of the Individual in a world focused on a myriad of crisis and conflict situations.
With the Sun in Gate 10, we have a spotlight on what it is to love being oneself, which is deeply individual in its nature. But what is it to love ourselves? To love being the self which we truly are? How much of our lifetime is spent not loving ourselves, caught in the illusion of the seemingly un-lovable not-self? Over the years of experimenting with Human Design, the behavior of the self – honoring one’s Inner Authority becomes more consistent and reliable, but it does not stop the mind’s never ending story of who we could be, should be, if only – all stories that deny our very human nature of love in this moment.
The Sun in Gate 10 is opposed by the Earth’s Gate 15, the Gate of Extremes, with its love of humanity, with its lack of fixed rhythms and tendency to accept or reject diversity. But what is it to love all of humanity?What is it to love being ‘a part of the symphony of humankind’; each of us marching to our own rhythm? How much of our lifetime is spent not loving our fellow humans, caught in the illusion that one way of life is better than another? Especially at this time with the focus on crisis and conflict, with the extremist identity filled with rejection of diversity, all within a divisive, conflict filled world aimed towards the next crisis providing a strong contrast to the potential love and acceptance of all humankind.
The dilemma of the transit program each and every day is: Do I live out the conditioning, or do I discover who I am in the midst of the conditioning field? What is the impact of these transits upon my openness? Can I notice the stories of my mind and how I am influenced to act based upon this conditioning? Can I continue to surrender to the individual authority of my form and follow the strategy of my type? Or, is the conditioning pattern so irresistible, or so pervasive that I do not notice it?
Here is a world that is being shown just how much they don’t love themselves, don’t particularly love their fellow humans, that can be driven by fear to create the next crisis and conflict that further breaks down the social contract of civilization. And at the same time, the world is also being shown themes of the desire for change, for Peace on Earth and All We Need is Love; that the solution to our global crisis (pick whichever one…) is to learn to get along, to live in harmony, to learn the behavior of love and living in the harmony that lies within humankind.
The beauty of Human Design is that we have a choice. We do not have to become lost in either conditioning pattern. We do not have to act out the behavior of self-loathing, of not-self hatred of ourselves and others; nor do we have to live out the idealized hope of universal harmony and love. Instead, we can notice our lives. We can observe the mental conditioning patterns instead of acting upon them. And if we do find ourselves acting upon them – we can recognize the behavior for what it is – a mentally driven reaction to the transit weather.
It is hard for humans to find self-love. So much of the mental focus is upon what is missing in us, where we are open and vulnerable. The openness is filled with those parts of ourselves that the mind wants to protect or cover up, to fix or fade. Openness is where our attention is – ‘this is what is wrong with me’ ‘this is what I need to improve’ ‘this is what I need to change about myself’. And so much of our design is open…so much of who we are is mentally devalued, seen as unworthy and unlovable as it is. When a conditioning pattern comes along – from a person or a transit, it is so attractive to us. ‘Maybe this is what I need to do to fix myself’, ‘maybe this is the change that I need to make’ – and we are off and running away from who we are, chasing what the mind imagines will bring us fulfillment, or at least a sense of fullness rather than all that openness.
If we learn to accept our openness for what it is – where we take in the world in all of its variety, then we no longer need to fix it, change it, correct it, do something about it. We can simply notice it. We can look out the windows of our openness and see what life is bringing us. And when we simply observe our openness, we can love it in all of its variety and diversity.
Somewhere along the journey of experimenting with our strategy and authority, we can also begin to find a love of what is fixed and consistent about us, what is defined or activated about our design. When the life is no longer lived from the initiations of the mind, then we begin to get the life that is correct for the form. We start to experience the sensation of resonating to our uniqueness, to our design. When we notice our strategy and authority we begin to find a life that is us; which is where our love is, in us. We also discover that we are a part of a greater whole, that we are a cell in the body of the Universe that is awakening.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds meet: back and forth in the conditioned environment of crisis and conflict, identifying with behavioral extremes of inclusion or exclusion. The breeze has got a secret to tell you – don’t go back to sleep: the transit weather is continually offering each of us the opportunity to be aware in this moment, to be awake, here, now in our lives as they are – not as the mind interprets or imagines. Within each of us we carry the potential to observe the experience of the life of the body, being a witness to the quantum that is this unique life. When we are no longer desperately trying to hold onto the small, manipulated life of the mind, we find ourselves in the flow of all of life, in the flow of love itself.
Noticing Your Life: December 16, 2015
Seeing Family Conditioning Clearly
The first thing to understand about Family Penta is that it is not about the members of the family as individuals. Family Penta is a conditioner that Ra identified as a trans-auric phenomena that the mind used to push its agenda of survival. It is the primary conditioning influence on every individual that manifests when there are three or more people involved. So recognize this conditioning influence – trans-auric – as not personal; as it is not the people themselves, it is the combination of people that matters.
The dilemma of family penta is that it is not a one to one connection. It is a group dynamic that has its own agenda and conditioning. Family penta is not looking at the individuals, not looking at how one relates to another – the family penta structure is something very different. Penta is a living thing, but it is not us. The penta is a trans-auric form that has a grip on us that is so vast and so deep, that we never escape the penta impact. We are born, live, and work in penta groups.
Parents carry a mental dilemma: how do I provide a healthy family for my child’s development? Often this idea of a healthy family is based upon their own experience, which was seldom healthy or functional programming, i.e., functional Penta. The reaction against their own birth family, the mental story of their ideal family all play into creating a heady mixture of pressure and impossible expectations. So Penta becomes a tool in recognizing and dealing with the conditioning. Remember, the conditioning is not the personal conditioning of our openness – it is more like The Program in the way it influences the family members – as it only deals with specific aspects of the family members and their designs. These are the material aspects, direction of the members, and how they are influenced.
How do we reconcile the experience of living in penta groups and our individual life? When we see and we understand the roles built into the family penta structure, and begin to deconstruct our own family penta dynamics, we have the opportunity to see what is there and what is not there. We can begin to recognize that the goal of the family penta is never personal, no matter how personal it can feel to us as parents, or from our past as children. And, we can learn how the penta draws us into its repetitive roles that have little to do with our individual correctness and Inner Authority. In this way, through our individual awareness we can begin to recognize the pull of family penta when we are actively engaged within it.
Noticing Your Life: December 8, 2015
Human Design: The Map is Not the Territory
We had the good fortune to meet Ra and Human Design in 1999. From time to time, Ra used to give informal introductory talks about Human Design and the basics of the BodyGraph.
One of the things Ra said in these talks: Do not trust me, don’t trust a thing I say. Don’t take anything about Human Design on faith, or belief. Experiment and see for yourself the validity of this system for your life – or not.
Over the years, this has been our guiding experience: It is essential for people to experiment with Human Design. It’s not dogma, it’s not rules, it’s not knowledge for the sake of helping other people; it is here to help each individual self-realize consciousness in form, in their own life. That takes more than learning about Human Design, it takes self-observation of one’s experience.
The dilemma is that the information of Human Design is seductive to the mind. The mind confuses knowing something with having an experience of something. It is relatively easy for the mind to learn the properties of Gate 26, for example. It’s here in the Heart Center, it does this and that, and here are the keynotes.
It is much more challenging for the mind to learn to observe one’s individual experience of Gate 26 in the moment: To recognize how it influences the internal dialog, how the mind is conditioned to act upon the frequency brought by a transit or a personal connection, and how different the flavor of that frequency can be depending upon its source.
The personal experience of the frequency of Gate 26 is an entirely different process than learning information about Gate 26. The map that Human Design provides is not the same as the experience of the territory. We can learn knowledge about the map: memorizing what someone else has said about the lines, gate, channel or center. To explore the actual territory is based upon observing your experience of you as an individual – learning to observe the subtle changes each time Gate 26 arrives in your aura, over and over until you recognize: ah, this is my experience of Gate 26’s energy. One moves us towards a homogenized knowledge base that has no ground in personal experience; the other is the basis of personal wisdom – what gives rise to a unique expression of Outer Authority.
We all live in a binary – of what is fixed and consistent, what we can come to recognize as our body/mind vehicle and how we uniquely take in and interpret life; and what is open, flexible, and available to the variety that life has to offer through our openness – what we uniquely take in and experience. Ra said: Don’t trust what is said about Human Design. Information will never give us the realization of how it feels to live in our unique vehicle as it operates correctly. The work is to learn to trust our own individual observation of our unique experiment with Human Design.
Our work with Human Design is to support the individual in their quest for personal wisdom based upon their observation of their experience built on their unique mechanics. From the variable level to the surface of our design, each layer provides the potential to more deeply recognize the gift of self-realization of consciousness in this lifetime.
Noticing Your Life: August 6, 2015
From Relationships to Relating
Relationships are a fundamental building block of human life. We are born into a relationship and we grow and develop through our relationships. As 7-centered humans we have entered into relationships for a variety of reasons: to meet physical needs, for emotional support, to find a companion to our daily living, to have someone to discuss ideas, someone to share our personal growth with, to have someone to love, to develop trust that deepens over time, and for a sense of security, i.e. for survival.
At a mechanical level, any time another person enters our aura, we are in a mutual condition of relating. We take in our experience of the other through our openness. How we take them in is shaped by our definition, but it is in our openness that we experience what we are not. Starting with our very first experiences of relating, the mind begins to interpret our openness: the mind turns it into a story of what is broken, missing, or needs to be compensated for, overcome or fulfilled by others. Instead of seeing the conditioning patterns with awareness, we spend a lifetime looking for relationships to fix what was never broken.
Relationships in the not-self world are often a self-fulfilling prophecy of our conditioned self – or an attempt to compensate for or overcome our internal image of our conditioned self. This is compounded by the other person in the relationship engaged in their own self-fulfilling prophecy or attempts to compensate. Most relationships are conditioned selves living out their conditioning – and finding the perfect person to reinforce and activate conditioning patterns. When we begin to unravel our conditioned patterns of relationships, we begin to discover that relating has been taking place all along – but without our conscious awareness.
As we move deeper into our experience as 9-centered beings living our uniqueness, we become more and more aware of living our unique frequency; realizing what it is to be alive here and now in our unique vehicle of body/mind, to be the passenger aware of life as an experience. As we move deeper into our experiment, how we relate with the other begins to shift as well. If we are whole and complete as we are, then what is relating? And how does our relating shift from mutual conditioning and compensation to two individuals relating?
This Fall 2015, we are offering a course through the IHDS - From Relationships to Relating. In this course we will help you explore your relating mechanics. How do you take in the other? What are the tendencies that your conditioning tends to seek out in the other? What kind of internalized conditioning stories are you identified with? Does your relating reinforce this identification? How do you relate as your true self? What is your experience of relating?
Dharmen and Leela were in a relationship for 13 years prior to meeting Human Design. They have been experimenting with Human Design for 16 years, and bring the depth of their experience of relating to this course.
Interview with Dharmen & Leela - May 2015
Lynda Bunnell the Director of the IHDS, asks us questions about how we began our experiment with Human Design, what our early days of experimentation were like, and how we experience our individual journeys after 16 years in Human Design.
One of the myths of Human Design states that if you simply follow your strategy and authority for 7 years, you will become completely deconditioned. This is a nice story, but it over simplifies the truth – deconditioning is an ongoing process of self-discovery.
The body can partially decondition in 7 years. Most of the cells replicate in 7 year cycles, called apoptosis, so it stands to reason that within 7 years of full experimentation with Strategy and Authority, complete replication will be in effect at a cellular level. Not true. The body has cells that never replicate, that never go through a 7 year apoptosis process – Stem Cells which maintain our primary cellular ‘code’, and Neurons.
Neurons and their lack of cyclic regeneration is what provide humans with the gift of memory. It is also what makes mental conditioning so durable and associative – memories of conditioning never truly go away. Strategy and Inner Authority put the decision making and movement through life under the control and guidance of the body’s intelligence; however, they do nothing to change the rich, deep internal dialog of the mind that is based on conditioned memories that never, ever go away.
How then do we decondition the mind?
We begin by taking the role of decision-maker away from the mind, and turn it over to the form through developing the awareness of our Inner Authority (center or process based). The body can be stabilized through Strategy, Inner Authority and PHS. The form begins to live its unique life along its trajectory. Next we have train the mind to observe the life that the body is experiencing. This is the correct role for the mind, the observer of experience, not the interpreter of experience. Any time the mind is interpreting our experience, it is operating out of conditioned memories, old neural pathways based upon our openness.
Through understanding our mechanics and how our openness operates, we can begin to recognize these old conditioned ways of thinking that may no longer lead to mental initiation in the life – but still runs in the internal dialog and creates a sense of personal suffering through mental identification. Deconditioning the mind is a process of identifying the mechanics involved, identifying the mental story and seeing it for what it is – a story that we have believed is our truth; that we believe is us. Can you see your mental stories?
That which we can see and observe, no longer runs our life – we can learn to see the stored memory patterns of the mind for what they are – conditioning patterns that we have become identified with. These cells, these memories will never go away; but we can discover that we have a choice about how we relate to these conditioned memories. We can see them as they arise in the mind, understand the mechanics of the mind and how it operates, and appreciate the lessons that this conditioning has offered us – that observing it can reveal it is not who we are.
Noticing Your Life - January 22, 2015
Variable is to Awareness what Type is to Form… Ra Uru Hu
The form can be stabilized, the mind cannot. Ra used to say: Garbage In - Garbage Out; if you do not have the form stabilized, no matter how much you want to follow your Strategy and Authority, you do not have your unique life. Through the PHS Determination and Environmental Variables, the form frequency can be recognized and gradually can become fixed to its correct trajectory. Strategy and Authority give the potential for form navigation – but it is the PHS Determination, that imbues the Inner Authority with form intelligence.
The mind is fundamentally unstable – this is what allows it to measure between this and that, the basis of cognition. Through the Perspective and Motivation Variables, we begin to recognize the unique combination of this and that which is the basis of our mind’s mechanics. Learning to observe the mind in action, rather than be lost in identification with the mind, is the basis of personality awareness. Over time, the mind begins to operate correctly, and the true work of Outer Authority begins.
Passenger consciousness is the capacity to simultaneously witness the consciousness of the form and personality – and to not be identified with either. The discipline that develops is to sit back in the holistic vehicle of body and mind and be present to the life that the body is living; while at the same time be aware of the mind observing the life. The passenger sits in the middle and knows. Through this radical process of transformation through your variables, you will meet your passenger.
Noticing Your Life - December 9, 2014
It's been over a year since I've written in this blog. It has been a very full year - so full, there wasn't energy left over for retrospective writing. Much of the energy went into our classes this year - we had a wonderful couple of groups in the Transformation Course series, as well as two Radical Deconditioning Course groups - both courses we will offer again in 2015.
We prepared and taught a new course for Transformation Course alumni - The Mechanics of Consciousness, which was a year long exploration of the variables by nodal fractal groups. Given the depth of preparation necessary for this course, it's likely that we won't offer it again until 2016.
And, we prepared and taught a new course in the IHDS - a Family Practice Certification Course for HD Analysts; and its likely that this will be offered again later in 2015 or early 2016.
In addition, we prepared a new course for 2015 - The Wisdom of Openness, which we are excited to start in January, 2015 on a bi-monthly basis. And, we have entered into the video era with two videos that we produced to share about our approach with Human Design. We hope you enjoy the videos, and we look forward to seeing you in classes with us in 2015!
The Wisdom of Openness - Video
The Transformation Course - Video
Noticing Your Life - 11/5/13
The View from Year Fourteen - Part 2
Fourteen years ago this July, Dharmen and I had our personal readings and a partnership reading by Ra here in Sedona, all on the same day. Afterwards, we drove home and promptly moved into separate bedrooms and began our individual experiments with Human Design.
I asked Dharmen if I could interview him about his first 7 years in Human Design. His reply was that as long as we recorded it, and he didn't have to write anything...he had the energy for a little dialog. Click on the link below to listen:
Fourteen years ago this July, Dharmen and I had our personal readings and a partnership reading by Ra here in Sedona, all on the same day. Afterwards, we drove home and promptly moved into separate bedrooms and began our individual experiments with Human Design.
Fourteen years is an interesting viewpoint. Often we read in HD that deconditioning is a 7-year process. Perhaps it is an end result for some, but from this viewpoint, deconditioning is a process of 7-year cycles; cycles that will likely continue throughout the lifetime, peeling away the layers and uncovering new spaces of discovery and awareness.
In class one day, Ra talked about Uranus and how it reverses its poles every fourteen years. I asked him, ‘What do these Uranian phases have to do with our human life?’ He said (I’m paraphrasing here…) that our 7-year cycles equal one half of these 14-year phases; and that the 84-year Uranian lifespan is a series of these 7-year cycles/ 14-year phase.
Looking back at the first 7-year cycle, it is clear that for me: it was all about getting comfortable with strategy and Inner Authority – with the body living the life. Having a difficult Inner Authority – unconscious Solar Plexus in a triple-split design; it literally took me the first three years to slow down enough just to finally notice what is a felt-sense of clarity, that place in the wave that I call ‘equanimity’.
Learning to wait for life to bring decisions rather than trying to make my life happen the way my mind thought it should be, thought I wanted it to be, fearful of what it might be was a long learning curve. The habit of the mind running the life runs deep and strong, and in my life, although nothing was working very well, everything felt like a struggle and filled with frustration – when that is all one knows, it is hard to let go of it.
The waiting process at that time was focused on how to fill the gap – how to ‘make use’ of the time between being asked to do – the orientation was still very much on filling time, focusing on action and finding results. Slowly over time, the emphasis on filling the time became more about what did I notice in these gaps – ‘Waiting as an active state of awareness’. It became time to observe the mind and its stories, to see the conditioning around activity and doing, and how I defined who I was by what I could do or was doing.
Much of the observation was about seeing the stories that the mind was trying to sell me or tell me about my open centers. I have only two open centers – the open G and the open Root. The first fouryears were all about the open G conditioning – how my mind was trying to run my life based upon what I should, could or would do in order to maybe have people like me, love me…and all of the decisions that were based upon whether or not people would like me if I did or did not do ‘this thing’ or ‘that thing’ (notice the emphasis on doing, too).
Dharmen was instrumental in this observation learning curve. My mind would drive me crazy with its endless “I’ve got to figure out what I’m doing with my life, what is the correct work, where is my place…and so on. My usual pattern was to insist that I had to talk about this thing that was so important and needed to be fixed – and that he had to listen while I worked it through. Instead of getting caught up in my fixing projects, in the second year of my process, he suggested that I write down all the things that my mind was telling or selling me. I wrote in a journal for three years, “My mind is telling me…” What was fascinating to me was that during those three years, not once did I see a pattern. My mind was very good at dressing up the same old story with new costumes, new scenery that felt new and very real. As I was getting ready to start yet another journal – I took a moment to look through the years of writing – and at that moment, I finally saw that they were all the same story. It was my mind’s open G center conditioning patterns.
At this point, it was incredibly helpful to have Dharmen to explore this with, not to get caught up in fixing ‘the problem’ that my mind was telling/selling; but to share what I was seeing, and to get his feedback on it from his perspective. The great gift of a Reflector is that they can learn to see the mechanics clearly. Over the years that I was engaged in my mental ‘soup’ – he was engaged in his own explorations of himself and the mechanics of design through the lunar cycle. He developed the skill to be able to see me (and others) as I am designed – and to listen to what I was saying about what I was seeing, and to point out where the gaps still remained. He was and is incredibly gifted at showing the places where I am ‘off’ from how I’m designed, the places where the mind is still running the life, and the blind spots that I’m not yet aware of. This was an amazing gift to have during these years; to have someone who can see clearly the gifts and limitations of my true self, and the encouragement to keep exploring and discovering the spaces that have been overlooked or under the radar.
The harder and slower learning curve was catching on to my open Root conditioning, and how my mind was driving me out of an enormous fear that I wouldn’t survive if I didn’t ‘do it all’. I was diagnosed with adrenal exhaustion and stenosis in my neck during the fifth year of my experiment which brought my open root conditioning front and center. I was working 80 hours a week in a frustrating career that I thought I wanted in order to pay for the lifestyle that I thought would make me feel secure. Caught in a rat race of my own creation, I thought there was no way out that wouldn’t result in me ending up a bag lady living on the street; that I had to be the one to take care of the family, had to be the responsible one because no one else would ever take care of me.
I’ve been fortunate in the friends who have explored their journey along with my own – not only have I had Dharmen’s mirror to look at, but I’ve had Mary Ann who has been there with exactly the right questions at the right time. As I was coming to grips with the adrenal exhaustion and my fears about letting go of the life I felt I had to uphold, she asked me: Do you want to die now? Do you see that you are killing your body? My responses echoed through the bones, they rippled through my emotional wave and helped me shift to a new place of seeing how my life wasn’t working. I was still chained to my fears, but the lock had opened.
My life had to come to a full and complete stop before I could unravel all of that – I literally had to see that I could survive if I didn’t hold up the weight of the world on my shoulders. My body was my saving grace as it reached the breaking point and refused to continue to play the game of following the mind’s control. It was at this point that PHS entered my life, and it took two years of PHS and physical therapy before I could get up off the couch for any length of time.
Throughout those two years, Dharmen was my companion and sounding board. I could see the fears and talk about them: “my mind is terrified that if I take the time to heal my body, I won’t survive, I won’t have enough money, and I’ll end up losing everything”. And he would ask me: “Is any of this happening right now? Are you surviving? Do you have enough money for right now? Have you lost everything?” Slowly, I began to see that my mind was running on an imagined future that had very little to do with my actual present. Then I would forget, the fears would begin again; slowly I would step out of being the thoughts and begin to observe them, and the process of getting to the now would begin again.
One of the interesting things that I noticed when the body broke down, when it no longer worked the way my mind thought it should work – was the mind’s emphasis was on finding a reason for why it wasn’t working so I could fix it and get back to the life I formerly had and didn’t really enjoy. Slowly, over time I began to recognize this behavioral/mental pattern: goal oriented, outcome focused, trying to use the mind to initiate what the life should be or could be for the body.
In truth, my body adapts. It has limitations. I cannot do many of the things I used to be able to do. My mind wanted to go back to an old image of what my life should look like and how my body should function. Learning to let go, to not try to imagine how it could be or should be; to simply accept the body as is, and to be present to the life that my body is experiencing now and trust that it is enough, that it is the life that I’m here to observe.
If I were to sum it up, the first seven years were about letting go of the behaviors and habits that kept my mind in control and slowly learning a new way of decision making and moving through life. Strategy and Authority are what align the body to its correct navigation; but it is training the mind to its correct work, to learn to observe the life, that was the concurrent journey, and the one that ultimately led to the acceptance of the authority of the form itself. Observation of the mind’s stories, the over and over and over again recognition of the mental patterns, is what I’ve come to recognize as the fundamental work of deconditioning. Deconditioning the form is relatively easy – strategy, authority and PHS do the work. Deconditioning the mind is a much more challenging and engaging process.
Step One – Begin to recognize that the mind is talking constantly inside your head and recognize that the minute there are words, there is a story being told to ‘you’ by the mind. Learning to observe the mind rather than being in the story is an enormous shift in identification.
Step Two – Learn how to deconstruct the story as it relates to your openness; learn how to recognize the mechanical conditioning patterns and exactly where they are in the openness of your design. This is the work of Radical Deconditioning – a course that we have developed specifically for those who want to explore their awakening.
Step Three – Recognize that Step One and Two are a life-long process, and that over time the patterns become very familiar, and the gradual identification with the one who is observing rather than the one who is telling the story becomes more comfortable and spacious.
I realize that although this is an apt description of my first seven years…there is still more to share. Perhaps I’ll interview Dharmen about his experiences over the past fourteen years and write about them next… and then perhaps I’ll write about my observations from the second seven years another day, too. Enjoy your noticing…this is your life.
Noticing Your Life - April 29, 2013
Question that came via Facebook: Will Dharmen ever travel to teach Reflectors?
Answer: In a word, “No”; and in more words…
Dharmen is not for everyone. His environment is ‘selective caves’ and he has natural barriers that are in place to make sure that only the exact right people who are on his fractal actually get to meet him in-aura.
One of those barriers is that he no longer travels by airplane. Dharmen has a 71 years-old 6 ft. 7 in. body that does not fit into standardized airplane seats. Four years ago he reached the decision that his flying days were done – too much pain and stress on an ageing body. If he cannot drive to a classroom, it’s not for him.
Another one of those barriers is that he is a 1/3 Reflector. The 1st line personality, in its maturity is a voice of authority; and in Dharmen’s case, his Outer Authority that is grounded in his foundation, his own experience and observation of his life. He’s extremely comfortable with himself – and has no difficulty with others comfort or discomfort with his expression.
He’s an extremist, sometimes. He’s got the 15th gate of extremes and can be extremely quiet and extremely loud; extremely animated and extremely still; extremely funny and extremely serious; extremely strong and extremely weak; extremely open and extremely closed.
He’s not a ‘let’s all hang out and feel the energy’ kind of Reflector. He recognizes that Reflectors are here to sample life in all of its infinite variety; a variety that includes the other 99% of humanity. Learning how to be open and be closed is an important aspect of being a Reflector; learning about how conditioning touches you – through people, through the transits requires time, discipline and support. Dharmen knows these things from the depth of his own experience, and when you meet him in-aura, it is palpable, you can feel it from him. If you are looking for clarity about what it is for you to sample life, how you can learn to love yourself as you are: Dharmen can help you discover you.
Dharmen is on the Cross of the Unexpected. To work with Dharmen is to initiate the unexpected into your life. Most of the time, the surprises that Dharmen brings are surprises of awareness: to help the individual to recognize the mechanics of who they are in their uniqueness. Dharmen is not for everyone, but those few that he is for… they often discover something unexpected – about themselves.
Meeting with a Reflector - Free 2 hr. Lecture!
Recorded Live with Dharmen
Sedona, April 20, 2013
Meeting with a Reflector provides a close up look at the Reflector experiment from Dharmen's viewpoint. Primarily a Q&A session, in this free 2 hr. lecture Dharmen shares about his explorations for the past 14 years in Human Design, about new Reflectors getting started in their process, and examines myths about Reflectors.
Includes mp3 audio, img file and PDF of the images - Recording is in two parts, download both files. We do not have automatic download capabilities - send us an email request to: firstname.lastname@example.org , and we will send you the download.
Noticing Your Life – 4.6.13
What is the experience of living in a community where you have Human Design experimenters who are here to explore being themselves?
Last month we moved back to Sedona, Arizona. Sedona is where Dharmen and I first met Human Design in 1999. It is where our experiments with Human Design began – where we had our Readings with Ra (we each had our Foundational Reading and together our Partnership Reading on the same day…). Three months after our readings, we moved to Sedona, and lived here until 2001.
The funny thing about moving away from Sedona – neither one of us ever imagined we would move back here. It was the place we began our deconditioning, where we went through a lot of examination of our ‘old’ way of relationship, it is where we began to face our not-self behaviors. Fourteen years after first moving to Sedona (two full 7 year cycles…) we moved back to Sedona; but two very different individuals made the move, this time.
For those of us with an Open G – people make an important part of the place “If you are with the right people, you are in the right place”. Sedona seems to be one of those places in the world that attracts community that we can relate to – that has the correct people for us. Last time here there was a growing Human Design community around Ra, and also a large Osho community – an Osho Café, businesses…classes…meditations…social gatherings… Since leaving Sedona, we haven’t had that kind of community to relate with: it has been a twelve year period of deeply internal processing, having each other to share our individual experiences and observations, and developing an online community that we relate with – with you.
This time around in Sedona, there is a growing Human Design community once again – without Ra, but with several HD professional teachers and individuals that are committed to their experience and experimentation in Human Design. Last time here, the emphasis was on Ra and his teaching of the information, and getting started in our experiments. This time around, for us the emphasis is on the potential for individual experimentation within a supportive community. What does that look like? We are discovering this…step by step, moment by moment.
We are also experimenting with working ‘in aura’ – offering Human Design workshops at Mary Ann Winiger’s spectacular location: The Key to You in West Sedona. This is something new for us – most of our classes and courses until now have been in an online environment. What many of you may not know about us is that we have backgrounds in our former lives offering training and classes. Dharmen spent 40 years working with groups – as an organizational developer and trainer in organizations – from the Jamaican government (!) to New York banking institutions, Hawaiian Resorts, Federal Prisons. I spent 20 years working in retail organizations developing, presenting and supporting training programs and classes. All of this live, in-aura training work was done prior to Human Design. In many ways, offering live workshops is a familiar medium; but once again – who we were that used to teach live training and classes is not who we are now. How does this prior life experience translate into live Human Design workshops today?
Here, now in Sedona we are offering live 5 and 7 day workshops – in aura. This is our opportunity to discover what it means to be ‘in aura’ with other Human Design experimenters, and to explore the experiential learning process in a live, in aura environment. Many of you have worked with us online and recognize our particular approach to Human Design – it is to be experienced. Mechanics are the key to each individual experience; however, learning for the sake of learning – is not our approach. How will our experiential, over time process (weekly classes with a particular experiment for the week) translate to an in aura 5 or 7 day process? One thing is clear to both of us – this is an experiment. It feels like very fertile ground for discovery …bringing back around something familiar – in a new form, in a new way.
Many of you have taken online classes with us over the past 7 years. It would be wonderful to meet you ‘in aura’, and to explore this new place, new process with you. We have a special offer for everyone that has previously taken an online class or course with us: $100 off all of our upcoming workshops listed below for May thru September this year. We look forward to seeing you soon!
February 8. 2013
Understanding Your Conditioning
These are some recent questions that we have found stimulating: Are we conditioned by online connections? Are we defined by conditioning? How does conditioning in ‘return’ charts work?
Something for us all to recognize: We have lived a lot longer as the conditioned self, versus time spent trying to live as the authentic self. What can take us out of being present are all the old pathways including the 7-Centered world of our ancestors, we are all still a part of it. It takes a herculean effort to stay present; not caught mentally in the past, not caught up in ideas about the future, “What is life bringing at the present moment?” That is what I can trust, it is what is actually moving through my aura, right now.
We are conditioned in our openness in two ways: by another person’s design, or by a planetary or nodal transit. As far as conditioning person to person, it requires aura contact. There is no conditioning over the internet - which is part of the value of online classrooms. Conditioning by individuals can be a single gate, or an entire channel that is taken in through your openness. The challenge of noticing conditioning by individuals is that their entire design is being taken in all at once, not just one gate.
Conditioning by transits depends upon movement in the transit field: so for example: The Sun transits the 49th gate began February 7th at 11:58 GMT and continues through February 13th 01:20 GMT. During this time period there is conditioning taking place by the 49th gate. If you have a hanging 19th gate in your design, the Sun’s transit of the 49 forms a temporary conditioning pattern with your 19th gate, forming the conditioned channel of Synthesis, with its design of sensitivity, and it also conditions the Root and Solar Plexus Centers. It does not change your definition. Definition is something we are born with (or without). It is a temporary conditioning pattern that can give us a glimpse into our openness.
When we have a cycle return, for example a Solar Return (birthday): the fixed image of the transit field gives us a glimpse into the life-lessons for the coming year. The actual transit field moves on, it does not stay fixed. For example, if the 49th gate is part of your Solar Return and you have the 19th gate in your design; each time there is a transit of the 49th gate, each time you meet aura to aura with someone with the 49th gate, it is an opportunity to learn about the 49, to become wise about it. The 49th gate becomes a focus or a theme for observation, to notice how it shows up in the life, and what it reveals about the openness in our design. It becomes a tool for recognizing our conditioning, and to learn about the nature of the gate as it exists in the world rather than in the distortion of our mind. The ongoing observation process becomes the source of our wisdom about the openness, and about how we take in life through the openness.
Part of gaining this wisdom is taking a look at the mental patterns that are stored about the openness, as in this case, the 49th gate. Most of us carry historical patterns of conditioning in our memories. In essence, we can recall past conditioning experiences as if they are actually happening, especially if we closely identified with the mind and its stories. That recall can initiate everything from internal mental dialog, to a chemical flood that the body is forced to experience.
The value of our openness is to recognize our conditioning patterns. To see the way in which the mind becomes identified with the conditioning, not to get lost in the identification with the story, or to try to fade it, fix it or change it. Awareness arises when we can see the patterns - either from the past in our memories, or from the present in the transit field/aura.
For all of us, much of the observational work is to notice the stories of the mind, as they point us towards our internalized conditioning patterns. The challenge of this work is that it is so easy to get caught up in the story, to think about the story and if it is right/wrong/good/bad, or that the other is right/wrong/good/bad...all of which takes us away from actually being present to our lives.
We are all here to live out our Strategy and to trust the decisions of life to our Inner Authority (center or process); and we are also here to become wise about the openness in our design. What interferes with this is often found in our conditioning. When we can recognize the stories that take us away from ourselves we become more aware of who we are, and what we are not.
In our Radical Deconditioning Course, we take people deeply into their experience of their openness. To learn about how we take in the other and the transits in our openness, and what the mind does with the repetitive patterns of conditioning. Based upon Ra’s teachings in Rave Psychology, this is a deep exploration of the conditioned mind and our true potential.
Dec 10, 2012
This time of year can be a heady mix of melancholy, mental stories and expectations about the holidays, and old family conditioning patterns.
Holidays can be a time filled with melancholy regardless of the transit field; and this year with the individuality of the Nodes in the 14 and 8, coupled with Neptune’s 55th gate make for a season filled with strong conditioning or resonance with melancholy in The Program.
In addition, the mind can become caught up in deeply internalized stories about what the Holidays should be like: Holidays should be full of gifts, generosity, expensive decorations, feasts, parties…If we don’t pay attention, it is easy to initiate actions to try to fulfill the mind’s story of what the holidays should be. Or, we can get caught up in believing mental stories about how our holidays are going to fall way, way short of our cultural and family expectations, and how bad the holidays are going to be for us.
Often the holidays put us in contact with our families which can bring a mixed blessing of enjoying their company with undercurrents of past patterns of conditioned behavior and relating that can easily become part of our holiday present. Again, mental stories about our family relationships can become the basis for our actions or internalized as blame or shame.
We’ve noticed over the past couple of months the way in which emotions or fears can enhance the stories of the mind to make them seem real. As a part of our Human Design experiment, we have been trained to observe the body and its experiences. What is taking place when the body goes through a fear-based or emotional response which originates from the mind?
If there are emotions or fears that are not based upon an actual experience that is taking place, then you have a situation where the mind is initiating the body’s reaction. This is conditioning, and often, it is based upon old mental stories that have built deep ruts in our mind.
Remember, the mind wants to run the life – our life in particular. If it can keep our attention through showing us a scary mental movie or telling us a scary story, it is likely that the mind will go back to that story or movie again and again. Over time, this builds a deep mental pathway through which the mind operates. How does it manage to keep our attention if the story is the same?
The mind, like Hollywood, recognizes that it has to give its audience something new when it is telling us the same old story. One of the ways it keeps the stories fresh is by dressing it up with new actors, new scenery, or new dialog. The best way, is to enhance the story with feeling.
In Hollywood they have spent a lot of time and money to enhance the movies so that we get the feeling that we are almost right there in the story. The emergence of 3-D is one example. Years ago they tried ‘smell-o-vision’ where they sprayed aromas into the theater; at amusement parks, they have rides where you sit and watch a 3-D movie and the chair rocks and bumps up and down to the action on the screen – all of which are attempts to give us a physical enhancement of the story to make it seem ‘real’.
The mind does exactly the same thing, but it does it through our chemistry. How better to convince us that a story is real than to add emotions or fear sensations to the story? Remember, all emotions are brain chemistry. There are more receptor sites for brain chemistry in the Solar Plexus than anywhere else in the body except the brain itself. When the mind is telling us how we are failing to meet holiday expectations, if it adds in a little chemistry, we can feel very sad about it all – and fall into the belief that the story is real. When the body experiences danger, there is a natural fear response which triggers the release of adrenalin so we can fight or run. A little boost of adrenalin along with a scary mental story and presto, we interpret the story as something to feel fearful about. When we feel fear in the body we can easily believe that the fear the story is describing - is real.
The Human Design experiment with the body is about noticing how the body interacts with its environment – the genuine fear responses to the actual experience we are taking in, for example. Or, in terms of the emotions, the wave that originates from the emotional center – the felt sense that arises naturally, the motion of the defined center in emotional authority beings. This is the opposite of internalized mental stories enhanced with emotions and fears; how do we discern the difference if it ‘feels’ real?
The important thing to recognize is ‘What is actually taking place right here, right now?’ Look around you: is the story actually taking place in your aura? Or, is it something the mind is imagining about the future or interpreting about the past? Where does the body sensation begin? If it begins from the mind’s story, then you can be reasonably sure it is a story enhancement. If the sensation arises out of the actual experience that is taking place in your aura – then you are observing the body’s awareness response or reaction to the environment.
If the body’s sensation is a mental story enhancement – you have an opportunity to observe the story that the mind is trying to convince you is real, and also to observe how the body deals with the chemical manipulation. Letting go of the feeling, letting go of the story is a process of awareness. Bringing your attention to the body and the breath is to arrive at the present – the present of your life.
October 24, 2012
Awareness & Presence...
The theme of this summer for Dharmen and I: Facing Limitations of the Body. In Human Design we talk about the body/mind construct as a vehicle, and our Personality Consciousness as a passenger, riding in the back seat looking out the window and enjoying the ride. What happens for us when the vehicle breaks down?
We each have a Strategy for how we meet life, and an Inner Authority (center or process) that provides us with the frequency of our unique trajectory - where we go, what we do, who we meet; the details of our life experiences. Most of the time, however, the mind has a story about our life. For example: what should happen, what needs to happen in order for us to be safe, what we want to have and what we want to hold onto. The truth is, most of the time the life that we are here to experience has very little to do with the story that the mind would like to control. This includes the sometimes dramatic or gradual breakdown of the vehicle as it ages.
When the vehicle breaks down it is very easy for the mind to step in and try to protect us; we can get pulled away from our strategy and authority and into the mental game of survival. The dilemma is that the mind has no idea how to go about this survival project, and basically makes up something: Do this and you will survive, if you do that you won’t, trust this medical advice, or don’t trust this medical advice. The mind is a binary, and will continue to play the ‘this’ and ‘that’ game – with one’s life.
The gift for each of us, having lived in our experiments for almost 14 years is that the practice of Strategy and Authority are well established; however, this does not mean that the mind’s stories will stop. What does take place is the gradually growing ability to actually observe these stories without getting caught up in thinking they are real, or acting upon them.
For me, this took the form of a cancer scare. I had spent years responding negatively to hysterectomy. Years spent dealing with a 6th line body that produced a variety of mutations to my female sexual apparatus as I approached and went through menopause, all of which I had dealt with previously through diet, herbs, supplementation, tumor removal, endometriosis removal , anything but having a hysterectomy. This summer, a tumor was found on one of my ovaries, and I had an ovarian cancer screening test which came back positive for ovarian cancer (with questionable accuracy). I was faced with the decision – This time, do I have a hysterectomy? Do I choose not to have a hysterectomy and run the risk of untreated ovarian cancer?
As an emotional being, this was a decision which took time to process. The thing I discovered about the medical cancer industry is that they seem to be in a hurry to get patients into treatment as quickly as possible. I had to slow down the process to suit what was correct for me, rather than get caught up in the urgency being sold to me. With a partner who was willing to ask me questions on a daily basis as I went through my process, it made it much easier to get a sense of my responses. And, still I waited…and waited…until there was no nervousness in my ‘ah-huh’ response – I was ready to have a hysterectomy.
My mind went pretty crazy. I had all kinds of beliefs and ideas about hysterectomies: they are bad, that they weren’t necessary, that I wouldn’t be a woman any more, that I would grow a moustache and become really bitchy with no ovaries and hormone production”. The funny thing for me to see – I am already past menopause, and these stories were still coming up. This was a deep seated mental construct – that to give up one’s womb is to be less of a woman.
'My first thought was 'I am going to need to find a way to accept this decision'. If I could only accept it mentally, then I would be free of these stories. Acceptance, however, is still a mental judgment: in the state of acceptance is also the transference: non-acceptance. Any time we are dealing with the mind, there is a binary. No matter how much I thought I wanted to accept this decision, there was still this shadow of non-acceptance lurking. Trying to get the mind to change is a fools’ errand – it has its stories, and will simply alter the story to fit the imposed context. So ‘acceptance’ turned into another series of stories: How I was going to feel good about myself because I was going to accept this surgery with courage (note the ego jumping in here); I was going to still feel lovable even without my ovaries (note the open G concerns)…and at the same time, in the quiet of the night, there were still so many fear stories – what would it be like to go through chemotherapy, would I lose my hair, my life - would I die from cancer?
In a conversation with Dharmen about this decision to accept what was taking place in my life, he asked me a question: “Can you be present to whatever is taking place?” And my ‘ah-huh’ reverberated through my being: I had been using the mental construct of ‘acceptance’ to create a false reality, one in which my mind felt secure, that might keep my fears at bay. Simply being present to what is taking place – regardless of the ‘what’…to observe what it is to have this surgery, to observe what is taking place with my inner dialog without getting lost in it or trying to change it. To be present to all of it, to truly take in my experience of my life – without judgment, without expectations, to simply be present to my life, to not miss a moment of it.
This is something that Dharmen and I discuss quite a lot these days. As a Reflector, this capacity to sample experiences and then let them go is the foundation of his experiment. Living in a body that is dealing with limitations as he does on a daily basis – diabetes, prostate cancer, thyroid issues, pacemaker surgery this summer – there are many aspects of his life through which his mind could take him on a wild ride. And, for him it has been this lesson of being present to his inner experience regardless of what is taking place – not just out in the world, but in his body as well – this is where he is finding his truth.
Someone in one of our classes asked today: “What about when the body suffers, is that real?” Dharmen’s reply: “It is the mind that creates the illusion of suffering. It turns the body’s experience of life, however uncomfortable or painful into a story about suffering. The body doesn’t suffer – it simply experiences whatever is taking place. It is the mind that makes it up."For me the stories go something like, ‘Oh, I’ve just had a cancer treatment, and I don’t have any stamina…poor me, what’s the use of living if I have to go through this’…The body just experiences whatever amount of stamina or lack of it in that moment; and maybe it is signaling that it needs to rest. There is such a huge difference between observing what is taking place, and listening to the suffering that the mind creates. The body doesn’t concern itself with trying to survive – it will live as fully as possible until it cannot live any longer. And then, survival is no longer an issue. It is the mind that makes survival in the future an issue. Will I have enough money, will my body support me, and so on. It is only the mind that keeps us from truly experiencing what it is to be alive, here, now.”
Something to understand about experiences– regardless of what ‘it’ is, it isn’t personal. Whatever is taking place, regardless of the mental interpretation of the experience, is not personal. It is the mind that pulls us out of the silent observation of what is taking place and into the story of ‘this is what is happening to ME’. The mind, very much identified with the life interprets all experience as if everything that goes on is personal. This can be difficult to recognize – it seems logical that whatever individual experience is taking place is a personal experience; however the mind tends to take the experience as a problem to be solved, a thing to be fixed, to be defended against or something to try to hang onto, to keep having the same experience over and over again. Both states are false – experience comes and it goes, there is no causality that is personal, regardless of how the mind wishes to interpret it in our defense.
There is no mental binary to being present – it is a state of awareness that is either present – or the state is lost. The mind can’t do anything with the passenger being present, because the place of reference has shifted: Instead of listening and getting lost in the mind’s story, there is the awareness that the mind is telling a story – even if the story is one of acceptance. For me being present to being in the hospital, to waking up in a body that was cancer free (surprise!) and in pain and immobilized was an amazing experience. It wasn’t so much the outer experience, but the observation of the inner experience: that regardless of what was going on outside of my body, there was a space of alert observer, simply watching what was going on, seeing how it all worked, watching how Leela was interacting with the world, quietly watching the whole movie as it unfolds…moment by moment.
One of the things that I learned through this process is that being present for me is very, very different than acceptance, and being present to my life is something that resonates deeply, that enriches my inner experience, regardless of what is taking place in my life.
Copyright Jean Paul Bourdier
August 21, 2012
Let’s Talk About Sex…
This year on Wednesday, August 22nd we begin the summer mating season as the Sun enters the 1st line of the 59th gate. Twice a year, when the Sun is in the 55th gate around Valentine’s Day in February, and late August when it transits the opposing 59th gate, we have a deep genetic drive to reproduce which has been a part of our genetic history for several million years.
In the earliest evolutionary models, humans were not fertile all year around. It wasn’t practical for the gestation or survival of the infant or mother. There were two optimal mating periods which selectively provided the best survival potential, and those were February and August.
Think for a moment about how this operated in our past: A couple mating in February would give birth in November – completing those difficult last months of pregnancy once the harvest was complete and the abundance of fall was available for nurturing both the mother and the newborn. A couple mating in August would give birth in May, having the long rest period of fall and winter to gestate, and the new food sources of early spring to nurture the mother and infant before the female headed back to the fields or the gathering activities of summer.
What does this have to do with our modern life? Through The Program, humans are still conditioned to seek out potential mating partners and driven to mate during these high fertility times. All of the idealization of ‘summer love’ and the messaging of Valentine’s Day, are modern remnants of our sexual past which still play out in the collective today.
We are genetically predisposed to make more. This is our most fundamental human drive to ensure the survival of the species. It surfaces in our sexuality, but also in our constant craving by the mind to create more, to have more, do more. MORE is the operative conditioning, and to do so with someone who is as genetically different from us as possible. Make more through being attracted to what you are not is our fundamental conditioning, and it is played out on the global stage in our mating rituals, but also in our conditioning patterns.
It would be one thing if we were just talking about sex, and the drive to make more in order to ensure the survival of the species. Make more through being attracted to what you are not is actually a very successful mating strategy. Yet it isn’t just about sex that we are talking about. Over the countless generations, the mind has taken that genetic imperative and made it the mind’s survival directive: Make more in order to ensure the survival of THIS human, through being attracted to what we are not. The mind through all of those open places in our genetic highlighting is driven to attract someone or something to fill it in, because the mind perceives the openness as a direct threat to our survival.
And here is the crux of the matter: our survival as a species is no longer in question. We’ve done a very good job of following our mating strategy – 7 billion strong. The dilemma is that the mind has taken this imperative and applied it to all of our life – that we need to want more, have more, do more, create more – not just babies, but cities, art, machines, relationships, families, homes, business; it encompasses all of the various ways that humans manipulate their environment in order to adapt it to the mind’s image of what is necessary in order to survive.
Even this imperative to make more in the world would be reasonable if it weren’t based upon the conditioning of: Be attracted to what/who you are not and do whatever it takes to hold onto it/them. Here the mind gives rise to all of the comparisons of this and that relative to the identity: I’m this, but I’m not that – therefore I’m not as capable of surviving – if only I had that as well, then I wouldn’t be so fearful about my survival. Here is the basis of mental decision making; the mind finds those open places in our design, and is driven to not only fill them in, but to hold onto and become identified with what fills in the openness as a condition of our very survival.
When we start to follow our strategy and authority, we unhook the life from the mental programming of make more and hold onto whatever fills in the openness as a condition of my survival. It is a process of experimentation to release the life from the control of the mind. It isn’t something that you can use the mind to step beyond the mind. It isn’t about fixing the mind, or changing it. It is about stepping out of the mental game.
When we step out of the mental game and step into the life that is correct for the form, we begin to experience the trajectory or path that is uniquely ours to experience in life. That does not mean that the mind’s attachments to survival, to making more, or being attracted to conditioning is going to stop. Mind is mind. It will continue to run on its patterns and pathways. The freedom is found when we no longer have to actually live out the mental patterns. The beauty of Radical Deconditioning is that we can begin to observe the mind’s patterns and become aware. Using the tools of Radical Deconditioning we can build new awareness capacities and begin to use the mind as it is designed – to observe the life and to express our unique Outer Authority. And this includes our mental patterns about sex as well.
When sex is not about our survival, when it isn’t a condition of being attracted to what we are not, when it isn’t the heat of The Program’s mating season, when it isn’t an attempt to momentarily be free of the frustration, bitterness, anger or disappointment in our lives…what remains? What is it to enter into a connection with the other correctly? Does it remain a connection between two bodies…or, two minds? Or does it become a communion based upon something that is not body or mind? Ahhh…well that is truly something to notice.
Dharmen and Leela are HD teachers through the IHDS and HD Canada as well as privately in their own classroom. Starting in September they are offering a 6 week course of “Radical Deconditioning: A 6 week Journey of Self-Discovery. Through the IHDS they are offering “Meet the Daily Transits – An Experiential Workshop”. Through HD Canada in September they will also be offering a 6 week course “9-Centered Relating: An HD Perspective on Relationships” followed by a 5 week course “An Introduction to HD Parenting”. They can be reached by email for questions and comments at email@example.com
August 3, 2012
Human Design offers each individual a unique map of how they are designed to operate
When you take this information beyond an intellectual understanding, often what is experienced is a period of cognitive dissonance – the internal experience of your life is different than what you have been taught is the ‘correct’ life based upon your design. “This is what my life is supposed to be. If that’s not what it is, then I have to do something to make that happen”. In this way life can remain a mentally driven exercise. Human Design knowledge can simply create a better informed mind which takes the design information into account to build a more secure 7- centered life. Understand that there is nothing wrong with going about life in this manner; however, it is like treating a Ferrari as if it were a horse and buggy: you miss all the benefits of the more advanced design.
You see, the BodyGraph and an understanding of how it is designed to operate is only the beginning of the journey. Becoming a 9-centered human, having the correct information is only where the process begins, but it is not the end. Staying at the beginning, at the information part, is to miss the potential of the 9-centered life, which is to experience self-realized consciousness in form: to be awake to one’s life while living it.
The most valuable gift that Human Design has provided is the potential for noticing your life. It seems like such a small thing – to pay attention to your life – and yet, it is something that most people rarely engage in. Seeing yourself, moving through space and time, noticing your experience, day by day is to live with self-awareness.
So often humans are too busy or too caught up in what their mind is telling them to actually notice what is taking place. What is happening in the body? Where does the body go? What is the mind’s internal dialog? What is the expression of the mind? The key is to begin to notice your life.
How does Human Design offer this gift? When you understand your design, you have a map to use to go out and explore your life. We are designed to take in the variety of life through the openness in our design, and for some through a fixed (or relatively fixed) way in which our designs operate in this life. It is in our openness that we are meant to become wise. But to develop wisdom means you have to be paying attention to your life in the first place.
One of the ways in which you can pay attention to your life, and more importantly what is coming in through your openness, is by paying attention to The Program. Most of the time when people talk about The Program, it is to describe it as the homogenizing pattern for the world, what makes up the fabric of the Maia; and for most of the people on the earth, this is true.
However, when we are living life from our design, we can experience what The Program brings through our openness, and we can learn about the infinite variety of flavors and nuances that we can take in through our experiences. When each of us discover our unique relationship with the movement of the planets through the openness in our design, it can show us the places where we can become lost in our past patterns of conditioning; but perhaps what has become more significant, it can provide us with the variety of experiences and tastes of life that will provide the foundation of our wisdom.
There is freedom in knowing what the experience of the 33rd gate is for you. Not what someone has told you about the gate, or what is it’s chemistry, or its history – but what it means for you when the Sun passes through it, when another planet passes through it, or when an individual comes into your aura and brings the 33rd gate…How does it impact your design? What do you learn about your Throat Center? What do you learn about the way the world operates when it is under the homogenizing influence of the 33rd gate? Each of these questions provides an opportunity to notice your life – and not just when the Sun is in the 33rd gate.
People ask Dharmen from time to time if he will ever again offer his Daily Neutrino weather forecasts, or even a monthly Neutrino weather forecast. The answer is “no time soon”. What has become apparent over the years is that the process of forecasting can only present the potential for The Program as a homogenizing influence. In order to discover how The Program impacts you, you have to be doing the noticing for your own life. No two people who are operating as their individual selves are going to experience the transits in the same way, but they can communicate their unique experiences, what they have learned about themselves and their openness with each other. It is through this process of sharing your Outer Authority, based upon noticing your life, which enriches the journey for us all.
Dharmen and Leela have been Human Design Teachers since 2006. They teach in the IHDS and through HD Canada, and they also offer experiential courses through their private classroom.
Starting in September they are offering a 6 week course in the IHDS: Deconstructing The Daily Transits – An Experiential Workshop. They can be reached by email for questions and comments at www.secretofbeingyou.com
Noticing Your Life is a series of articles inspired by our experimentation with Human Design. They were written by Leela and Dharmen. Some were published in the Jovian Archive Newsletter from 2010 - 2011; most are current and out of response to our lives - here, now. Any errors or omissions are entirely ours. If there is a question or topic that you would like us to explore, you are initiated, invited and asked to write us at firstname.lastname@example.org